Last night I went home with the single-minded determination of putting up my Christmas tree. J had to go out, but I made him take all the decorations out of the attic before he left…because you know how much I hate the attic. I got the tree up, only to discover that one strand of lights wasn’t working. On my pre-lit Christmas tree. On my quite new, only one year old, far too expensive for this crap to happen, pre-lit Christmas tree.
I started off with the easy fix…I changed the fuses on that strand. Nothing doing. Then I poked and prodded at a few bulbs. Nothing. So I Googled “how to figure out which light is out in a strand” and Google suggested I test each light with a “hum tracer”. Yeah…I didn’t know what it was either. Luckily, I live with Mr. Fixit and I found what I was looking for in the garage. I tested the lights like Google instructed. Nothing. Everything seemed in working order…except for the fact that the damn lights wouldn’t go on.
Two things happened next…I decided that Christmas was ruined and that I never should have tried to put up a tree in the first place…and J came home. When he saw that the tree had not a single decoration and that I was sitting on the floor in front of it with a forlorn expression, he decided to take over and get the lights working. I told you…Mr. Fixit.
So Mr. Fixit and I sat there pulling every single bulb out of a fifty light strand and testing them in a different strand of lights. Every bulb worked. At that point it was somewhere around 10:30 and I was ready to give up. We decided to put the bulbs back in and then just turn the tree so the non-working strand was in back. I started putting the bulbs back following the line and when I got to the end I realized I was one bulb short. One must have fallen out and we never realized it. I plugged a spare bulb in that slot and…voila!…lights.
What a waste of two and a half hours! But I’m happy to report that my tree is decorated and looks gorgeous and it instilled just the teeniest bit of holiday spirit in me. And now…I get to do it all over again when we decorate the tree in CT. I just hope all the lights work!
Now…as a special treat…I have this week’s random musings…brought to you entirely by J. I’ve been saving up his gems recently…and he’s had some good ones…
- We were talking about last Halloween and J said “Weren’t you with your other half last year?” (He means Allyson.) I told him I was. He said “Right…you were a witch…and wasn’t she your broom?” Um…no. She was Sookie Stackhouse…but, you know, close. At least he remembered I was a witch.
- I was laying on him and I noticed that the skin on his arms was a bit dry, so I told him that he should moisturize when he got out of the shower in the morning. His response…”I would…except I don’t have a vagina.” Apparently, you can only have soft, moisturized skin if you are a woman.
- He burped really loud the other night…which drives me absolutely bananas…and he knows it. When I turned and gave him a look of death he said “What? I can’t be perfect all the time.” No kidding! I’d settle for just once in a while.
- I was telling J about the Lady Gaga windows at Barney’s…one of which is done entirely in hair. He shook his head sadly and said…”So many bald people in the world and there she is…just wasting all that hair…it’s really a shame.”
- J’s been on vacation for the past two weeks and the other day I called him while I was at work. He said he had to call me back because was “in the middle of something”. Thinking that he was doing one of the many things I asked him to do while he’s home, I said “great…what are you doing?” His response…”I’m on a quest…someone has to save these girls.” He was playing a video game. Sometimes I swear he’s 12.
J’s not easy, but he does make me laugh.
I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!