Inside the madness…

I think J has missed me talking about him here…because this week he’s given me such good material that I can’t not write about it.
The first conversation happened last Monday when I had to go to CT because we were having the furnace serviced.  The girls tend not to like strangers in the house and it’s too hard for me to control them and deal with the service guy at the same time.  So I left them home in NY by themselves.  While I was sitting there waiting for the furnace guy, J called me…
J: You are in so much trouble.
Me: Why is that?
J: The girls are mad that you didn’t take them with you.  Sadie just called me and told me.
Me:  Is that so?
J: Yup.  They are really going to give you the business when you get home.  Also, they want you to quit your job so they don’t have to stay home alone anymore.
Me:  Well, they must also want us to get married first because they understand the concept of financial security.  Also, it embarrasses them that their parents aren’t married.  Kind of like the Jolie-Pitts.
J: I know…they already yelled at me today.
I ended up spending the day in CT and when J got home from work he called again…
J: You’re still there?
Me: Yes…just taking care of a few things.  I’m going to leave in about ten minutes.
J: You should wait a while.
Me: Why is that?
J: The girls are on their way up there.
Me: Is that so.
J: Yup…Sadie’s driving.  I tried to convince her that she has no thumbs and it would be hard to steer, but she just took my keys and walked right past me.  Now she’s driving up there with the hazard lights on, weaving all over, going 30 miles an hour on the highway.  Sofie’s giving her directions.
Me: Sounds like it might take them a while.  I’ll wait.
J: Good…they’ll come to the backdoor, so make sure you leave a light on…it’s getting dark.
One night during the week, we were watching TV and I really wanted a soda…but I was really comfortable and didn’t want to get up.  So I asked J to go in the kitchen and bring me a soda.  He said no.  Then I proceeded to whine and annoy him until he got up and got it for me.
When he came back in the room, he was carrying two cans of soda.  He put them down on the table and said “Here you go.  I shook one.  Good luck with that.”
And then I went and got my own soda from the kitchen.
Well played.
I love March Madness and this year I entered five different brackets in two separate pools.  Halfway through the first day of games, four of the five were totally shot to hell.  The first day!  So I texted J…
Me:  Four of my brackets are totally shot.
J: It’s not even halfway through the first day.
Me: Tell me about it.
J: Know what that makes you?
Me: What?
J: A loser!
Me: Ouch!  That hurts me…deeply.
J: Yeah…I bet it doesn’t hurt as much as losing four of your brackets halfway through day one.
He was right.
And that is just a small peak inside the madness at our house.  Anyone else have any good stories?