Another great debate…

J and I are having a debate.  It’s been going on for a while.  We can’t seem to come to any sort of agreement so we decided to put the question out there to all of you and get your opinions on the matter. 

Here’s the deal…J snores.  And I don’t mean he just snores all normal and guy-like.  I mean he SNORES.  Seriously…sometimes it’s like sleeping next to a running chainsaw.  He also stops breathing and basically chokes until he wakes up.  The first time I spent the night with him I thought he was dying.  It’s really unpleasant to listen to and it’s very difficult to sleep next to.  In addition to the snoring, J likes to keep the light and the TV on all night long.  He said the noise helps him to sleep and he just likes the room to be bright. 

For me…this scenario is a nightmare.  I have a bit of insomnia and the television and light are distractions from sleeping that I just don’t need.  I also don’t need the dogs laying all over me, making the bed feel like an oven.  When I finally do fall asleep, J’s snoring wakes me up and then I’m up all night.  In order to get a really good night’s sleep, I need a quiet, dark, cold room with no distractions.  Needless to say, I don’t sleep that well most of the time.

About eight months ago, I was sitting awake in the middle of the night…completely exhausted…and I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I was tossing and turning and changing the channels on the TV and I was annoying J and keeping him awake too.  I decided to go into the guest room where it was quiet to see if I could relax.  I was asleep in three minutes flat and I slept through until the next morning.  It was fabulous.  So now, whenever I can’t fall asleep or I wake up in the middle of the night, I sneak off into the guest room and I sleep like a baby.

This makes J crazy.  He hates it.  He bitches about it constantly.  He says it not normal for a couple to sleep in different beds and that we have to sleep in the same bed. 

I personally don’t see the big deal.  I mean…we’re asleep!  It’s not like we’re having a conversation and I get up and walk out of the room.  Most of the time he doesn’t even realize I’m gone until the morning.  In fact, last night, he got up, went down to the kitchen, ate Yankee Doodles, watched TV in the living room for half an hour and then came back to bed…and I had NO CLUE!  Also, I heard a story on the John Tesh show the other night that “snoring rooms” are becoming all the rage in new home construction and 25% of couples choose to sleep apart. 

I presented all this to J and he said it didn’t matter…he wants us to sleep in the same bed, period.  So last night I did it…I sucked it up and I stuck my ear plugs in my ears and I stayed in our bed all night.  The dogs kicked me and pushed me like I was in their way.  I watched some crazy infomercial at 4AM.  I tossed and turned.  I slept like shit and I’m really tired today.  But J is really happy. 

My question to all of you is this…do you think it matters if a couple sleeps in different rooms?  Or do you think it’s more important for both people to get a good night’s sleep?  Am I crazy???

I’m going to go order new sheets and duvet now…because if I’m not going to sleep I at least want to be as comfortable as possible!  I can’t wait to hear what you all think.


Sometimes J is a really thoughtful and considerate guy.  You know, when he wants to be. 

When we first started dating we took a trip to Disney.  I mentioned, while we were walking around, that I thought this Minnie Mouse statue was really cute.  Later that night he pretended to go to the bathroom, ran back to the store, bought the statue, took it to the car to hide it, packed it in his suitcase and gave it to me for my birthday when we got home.  Very sweet.

A few weeks ago, he drove half an hour out of his way, past 10 different restaurants, to take me to Friendly’s because he knew I really wanted an ice cream sundae. 

He does little things like that all the time because he is a nice guy and he loves me.  However, sometimes he can be a total pain in the ass!

Earlier tonight, J had to go out.  On his way out I asked him to do two things: drop the Netflix movies in the mail and pick up Hostess cupcakes on his way home, as I was having a craving and he was going to be passing a Hostess store.  He agreed to both, kissed me and left.

As I walked into the kitchen to get a drink, I noticed the movies still laying on the table.  Then he came home…no cupcakes.  His excuse for the cupcakes…”I didn’t know what kind you liked.”  Seriously???  We’ve been together for 9 years and you don’t know that I like plain old Hostess cupcakes?  Bull.  He just didn’t want to get out of the car. 

To top the night off perfectly, J took a shower and jumped into bed while I was cleaning up his dinner and taking the dogs out.  By the time I got upstairs he was sprawled across the bed and the dogs were laying on my side.  Now all three of them are sound asleep with the tv blaring and he is snoring so loud that the headboard is vibrating.  I am squished onto a tiny sliver of matress with two 60 pound dogs laying across my legs!

I swear, I love him, but at times like this I want to smother him with a pillow.  I mean, is it so hard to just bring home the damn cupcakes?  Because, cupcakes make a lot of things easier to take.  If I was laying here, enjoying the fudgy goodness, I might be able to tune out the snoring.  Instead, I’m going to have to poke him in the shoulder every few minutes!

Wow – I guess I’m a little cranky tonight!  I hope everyone else is having a good night.