But what color is the dress???

Last night we were watching The Dilemma and J was in the mood to be a pain in the ass.  And so he was.  It went something like this…

During one of Winona Ryder’s first scenes in the movie…

J: Is that Winona Ryder?
Me: Yes.
J: She doesn’t look so good.
Me: No, she doesn’t.
J: She didn’t age well.  She’s looking really old.  (Note – J says this all the time and it drives me crazy.)
Me: Well…we’re all getting older.
J: Man, she looks really old…like ancient.
Me: She doesn’t look that bad.  That hairdo isn’t flattering though.
J: Yeah…plus she’s really freaking old.  How old is she anyway?
Me: Your age. 
J: Oh.
Me: Exactly.  Shut up.

During a scene where Vince Vaughn’s character confronts Winona Ryder’s character…

J: Who bought a dress?
Me: Her sister.
J: Who’s sister?
Me: Geneva’s sister.
J: She has a sister?
Me: Apparently.
J: Where is she?
Me: Geneva is texting her.
J: Texting who?
Me: Ronny thought she was texting her boyfriend, but she’s texting her sister.
J: Whose sister?
Me: Geneva’s sister.
J: But who bought a dress?
Me: Her sister.
J: Who is her sister?
Me: Her sister is not the point.  The point is that she wasn’t texting her boyfriend…she was texting her sister.
J: What does the dress look like?
Me: Shut up.

When the movie was almost over…

J: Can you make me a root beer float and then scratch my leg so I can fall asleep?
Me: No.
Me: One or the other. 
J: Fine…root beer float…because you don’t scratch very well…you are a bad scratcher.
…So I make him the root beer float…
…And a few minutes later…
J: Will you scratch now?
Me: No.  You just told me I am a bad scratcher.
J: Yes…but you can practice right now and then you can get better.
Me: No thanks.
J: I’m just looking out for you…trying to make you the very best you can be.
Me: I appreciate that…but I’m still not scratching.
J: I was just kidding…you are the best scratcher ever.
Me: Flattery will get you no where. 
J: I took a shot. 
Me: Go to sleep.

And he did…thank God! 

At least he gives me lots of practice for dealing with toddlers so I’ll be ready!


Oh…And make sure you stop by 400 Wake-ups today and check out part 2 of Ally’s recap of her trip.