J claims that he doesn’t like when I write about him. However, he often gives me excellent material…so good that it’s like he’s asking for it. The truth is…I think he secretly loves being written about. He’s been giving me an awful lot of good material lately, which I’ve been saving up.
I was going to save this for Friday, but since it’s a particularly gloomy, rainy day here, I decided we could all use a laugh. So, I give to you…the random musings of J…
- A few weeks ago, J had a cold. He wanted medicine, so I gave him a box containing both NyQuil and DayQuil pills. He said “What do you think will happen if I take one NyQuil and one DayQuil? Will I feel like it’s noon?” In the end, we decided against experimentation.
- In the car on the way to Connecticut, J was talking to the dogs. I was mostly ignoring him, until I heard him say “Sadie, you are now on your way from the ghetto to the meadow.” That’s become our CT motto.
- J was eating fries the other night and they looked really good. I reached out to take one and he snatched them away. When I asked why he wasn’t sharing he said “You are on the express train to skinny town, my friend. There are no local stops on that train…and these fries are a local stop in a bad neighborhood.”
- I have a tendency to repeatedly ask the same question if I get an answer that I don’t like. This, of course, drives J nuts. Now…if I do that, he will immediately shout “Asked and answered, your Honor!”. It makes me laugh and then I usually leave him alone.
- Last weekend, I noticed that we had a lot of ant hills in the backyard and I found a few ants in the house. I pointed it out to J and told him he should speak to the lawn guy about it. His alternate suggestion…”maybe we should get an anteater instead.” His rationale? “It would probably cost as much as having the lawn guy take care of it, but this way the girls would have a new friend.” Sadly, anteaters aren’t native to Connecticut.
- And the best for last…J had to go to a dinner on Friday night…which I elected to skip. I picked him up after it was over and we headed to Connecticut. He was a little tipsy when he got in the car and he didn’t shut up the whole ride.
J: (singing) Someone left the cake out in the rain…and I’ll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnn!
Me: Really, with the singing?
J: That’s a good song.
Me: No, it’s not.
J: Who sings that song?
Me: A lot of people, but you are probably thinking of Donna Summer.
J: No…I think it’s Eileen someone…Eileen Brennigan.
Me: I think you just made that up.
J: That is a really good song…I’m going to look up Eileen Brennigan…(talking to himself as he types into his phone) someone left the cake out in the rain…
Me: It’s called McArthur Park.
Me: The song…it’s called McArthur Park.
J: No it’s not…it’s called Cake in the Rain.
Me: Ok…fine it’s called Cake in the Rain.
J: Jimmy Webb wrote it…(singing) I don’t think that I can take it, ’cause it took so long to baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake it. Oh look, it’s called McArthur Park.
Me: Yes, I know. Maybe it’s time to stop singing.
J: But it’s a good song.
Me: How was the dinner?
J: Boring. But there was a DJ.
Me: Well, that explains it.
Me: The singing.
J: Someone left the cake out in the rain…I don’t think that I can take it…never agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiin!
Me: Please stop singing.
J: You are just jealous of my fantastic singing voice.
Me: Yes, that must be it.
Since this weekend is Easter, I fully expect there to be talk of the Apostles at some point. I’ll be sure to take good notes!
My favorite part of this post? The anteater. Why? Because it gives me a reason to post one of my favorite pictures ever…
I don’t know why I find that so funny…but it seriously makes me laugh every. single. time.