Random Musings Friday…

If you asked me last week whether I’d be watching the royal wedding, I would have said no…that I had no intention of getting up before dawn to watch two people I didn’t know get married in another country.  If you asked me whether I was checking online and reading the speculation about the wedding details and Kate’s dress and all of that, I also would have said no.  I would have told you that I had no interest in any of it. 

Of course, I would have been totally lying.  Because I was reading everything I saw online about William and Kate and their wedding.  I was planning to watch at least the rebroadcast of the ceremony.  I was DYING to see the dress.  And even though I rolled my eyes every morning as news of the wedding trumped real news on all the morning shows, I stopped to listen to what was being said. 

I really didn’t get up at 4AM.  That wasn’t even a consideration.  But I did think about getting up at 5.  In the end, I woke up around 5:30 and laid in bed, patiently waiting for J to leave so I could change over from CNBC to The Today Show’s royal wedding coverage.  The 20 minutes it took J to leave felt like hours, but finally, he left and I was able to indulge my need to watch.  I turned it on just as Kate was driving to Westminster Abbey and I watched until they got into the carriage for the trip to Buckingham Palace. 

I though Kate’s dress was beautiful and she looked amazing.  I thought it was so sweet when William looked at her for the first time and told her she looked beautiful.  That little moment actually brought a tear to my eye.  I thought the whole thing was lovely and I hope they have a very long and happy marriage. 

Anyway…back to my reality that has nothing to do with being a princess and everything to do with suffering a severely allergy attack at the moment!  My allergies actually held off much longer than expected this year.  Normally, they start in March.  This year, I’ve made it almost to May!  Six weeks without sneezing and itchy eyes is practically a miracle.  For that, I’m very grateful. 

Now…enough about my allergies…time for this week’s random musings…

  • Speaking of the coverage of the royal wedding…some of it was absolutely ridiculous.  My favorite was when Meredith Vieira was reporting on Kate leaving her parents’ home and heading into London and Kate’s hair was pulled into an updo.  Meredith asked the person she was interviewing…who was some sort of expert on the royal family…whether this was some sort of indication that Kate would wear her hair up the day of the wedding.  Seriously, Meredith?  What does one thing have to do with the other?  Maybe she was just hot.  Or maybe she didn’t wash her hair that morning.  I realize with so many hours to fill with wedding coverage and not much to talk about, the anchors were really reaching for topics.  But that one was just ridiculous.
  • Normally, when I watch I fast forward through the clips of the rehearsals…because all I really want to see is the dancing.  However, on Monday I was watching the show live instead of on the DVR so I watched all the clips.  Kenda Wilkinson’s partner was trying to teach her to Samba and he was telling her to “shake what God gave you.”  She pointed to her boobs and said “You mean these?  Because God didn’t give me these.”  I laughed to hard at that.  I’m not a big fan of Kendra because I think she’s kind of a jerk, but I have to give her credit for being really honest.
  • I have a tendency to use words like “stuff” and “thingie” and “whatchamacallit” when I’m asking J for something.  Sometimes, I just point.  It drives him crazy and he often tells me to use my words.  The other night, I pointed at the ruler sitting on his desk and said “Can you please give me that?”  His response…”For someone who reads an awful lot of books, you really don’t have the best command of the English language.”  And that made me laugh…because it’s true.  I actually have a very broad vocabulary, but when I get home at night, I’m far too tired and too lazy to think.  The result is that I sound like a 1st grader. 
  • I have a note on my phone that says “ball caddy made me laugh for a half hour and then choke”.  The problem is…I have no idea what that means.  I remember writing it.  I remember that we were watching Cougar Town at the time and it was a golf themed episode.  I’m pretty sure that J and I started making dirty jokes about balls…but I have no idea what they were exactly.  I do know that I laughed for about a half hour and eventually laughed so hard that I was choking and J had to get me water.  I think I need to start taking better notes. 
  • I read online yesterday that Joey Lawrence went on the radio and endorsed Donald Trump for president.  It must have been a really slow news day yesterday. 

And that’s what I have for you this week.  I’m going to run out to Duane Reade now and get some eye drops.  While I’ve been writing this post, my eyes went from mildly itchy to massively itchy and irritated and practically falling out of my head.  I hope you all have a great…and allergy free…weekend.

Open Letter Thursday…

Dear Michael Bolton,

I understand that it probably wasn’t fun to stand on national television and hear that your jive was the worst in eleven seasons.  The 3 that Bruno gave you was a tad harsh as well.  I’m sure that was a big blow to your ego.  But running all over town, demanding public apologies and reprimands?  Are you serious? 

First of all…you sucked.  I don’t think there is really a question about that.  You were awkward and clumsy and sometimes your face looked like you were in pain.  Maybe you were too focused on your tour to devote yourself to your dancing.  Or maybe you just aren’t very coordinated.  Whatever the reason…you weren’t good.  Period.  Honestly, I thought you deserved the 3 just for the stunt with the dog house.  It was way lame.

No one likes losing, but you are making things so much worse with the whole sore loser routine you have going on.  You are acting like a bratty little kid with your demands and your sour grapes.  Ok…so your 90-year-old mother flew in to see you dance…so what?  Should the judges have boosted your score because your mom was there?  I don’t think so. 

But here’s the thing that I’m curious about…you have a concert scheduled for Monday night at 7pm in Nebraska.  How were you planning to be in CA dancing and NE singing at the same time?  Exactly…you weren’t.  It would have been impossible. 

So you want to know what I think?  I think this was all a bunch of crap.  Were you the worst dancer?  Absolutely.  Should you have gotten voted off based on that performance?  Of course.  Did Bruno give you such a low score to ensure you got thrown off so you wouldn’t have to cancel a concert?  Just maybe.  Is this whole controversy made up to give you some publicity?  I think it might be. 

Either way…stop with your public temper tantrum.  It’s boring and no one wants to hear about it anymore.  Take the loss like a man and go finish your tour. 

Oh and lose that stupid earring…it’s not working for you.

Thanks for your attention to this matter,

Shana

All over the place…

Last night I had writers’ block and I couldn’t come up with anything to write about.  I mentioned this to J, who was ready with several suggestions…all of them completely inappropriate for a PG-rated blog.  They were pretty funny though. 

So I was going to write about the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars and how The Hoff was a train wreck and how Florence Henderson has great legs despite the fact that she’s 70-something and that Jennifer Grey was so amazing that she made me cry.  I was going to make several references to Dirty Dancing and Jersey Shore and talk about how The Situation might be a total douche, but he really does have an amazing body and he might just be a marketing genius.  But I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read about that.

Then I thought maybe I’d write about traffic, because it seems that no matter where I go, I have to fight my way through tons of traffic.  I was going to discuss how I don’t understand why there is sometimes horrendous traffic and you think that you are going to pass a really bad accident or something, but there’s nothing and then all the traffic just disappears and the road is clear ahead.  I was going to talk about how J and I keep talking about moving to a different state where there is no traffic and where it doesn’t take over an hour to travel to you office that is 16 miles away.  But I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read about that either.  Plus…I spend enough of my life actually in the traffic…I don’t know that I want to spend more of my life discussing it.

So then I was going to write about how it’s so fall-like outside and how fall is my favorite season.  I was going to tell you how I was so excited to bust out the cashmere this morning…but I haven’t quite gotten myself out of sandals yet.  I was going to mention the leaves on the trees in Central Park just starting to turn the slightest bit.  But I wanted to include pictures and I was running late because of the damn traffic, so I couldn’t stop to take any.

Then I thought I’d write about my dental experiences yesterday because it turns that I have a bad tooth and need a root canal…although that might night work and I might have to get an implant instead.  This is, of course, totally awesome because I love going to the dentist  more than anything and I’m not afraid to have major dental surgery at all.  Except, that’s a total lie and it scares the shit out of me and the more I thought about it, the more I panicked, so I decided not to write about that either. 

As I turned the corner to get to my office, I still had no idea what the hell I was going to write about and I was getting a little anxious.  Then I noticed that there were several trailers set up on my block.  I saw signs yesterday that CSI: NY was going to be filming in this neighborhood, but nothing ever materialized yesterday so I figured they were just going to use the block for extra parking or whatever.  I started walking by trailers and I was checking the doors for names I recognized.  The first doors were the bathrooms…boring.  The next door said nothing…again…boring.  The next door started to get a little more interesting…Dr. Sheldon.  Hmmm…this might be good.  The next said Det. Dan…even better.  The next trailer was huge and had only one door.  As I approached I started to be able to make out the name on the tape…MAC.  Detective Mac Taylor…one of my all time faves! 

For those of you not familiar with CSI:NY, Detective Mac Taylor is played by Gary Sinise.  I love him.  So I have decided that it doesn’t matter what I write about today because I’m going to go downstairs and sit on the steps of my building and stalk Mr. Sinise for the rest of the day.  Gotta run…Catch you later.