All over the place…

Last night I had writers’ block and I couldn’t come up with anything to write about.  I mentioned this to J, who was ready with several suggestions…all of them completely inappropriate for a PG-rated blog.  They were pretty funny though. 

So I was going to write about the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars and how The Hoff was a train wreck and how Florence Henderson has great legs despite the fact that she’s 70-something and that Jennifer Grey was so amazing that she made me cry.  I was going to make several references to Dirty Dancing and Jersey Shore and talk about how The Situation might be a total douche, but he really does have an amazing body and he might just be a marketing genius.  But I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read about that.

Then I thought maybe I’d write about traffic, because it seems that no matter where I go, I have to fight my way through tons of traffic.  I was going to discuss how I don’t understand why there is sometimes horrendous traffic and you think that you are going to pass a really bad accident or something, but there’s nothing and then all the traffic just disappears and the road is clear ahead.  I was going to talk about how J and I keep talking about moving to a different state where there is no traffic and where it doesn’t take over an hour to travel to you office that is 16 miles away.  But I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read about that either.  Plus…I spend enough of my life actually in the traffic…I don’t know that I want to spend more of my life discussing it.

So then I was going to write about how it’s so fall-like outside and how fall is my favorite season.  I was going to tell you how I was so excited to bust out the cashmere this morning…but I haven’t quite gotten myself out of sandals yet.  I was going to mention the leaves on the trees in Central Park just starting to turn the slightest bit.  But I wanted to include pictures and I was running late because of the damn traffic, so I couldn’t stop to take any.

Then I thought I’d write about my dental experiences yesterday because it turns that I have a bad tooth and need a root canal…although that might night work and I might have to get an implant instead.  This is, of course, totally awesome because I love going to the dentist  more than anything and I’m not afraid to have major dental surgery at all.  Except, that’s a total lie and it scares the shit out of me and the more I thought about it, the more I panicked, so I decided not to write about that either. 

As I turned the corner to get to my office, I still had no idea what the hell I was going to write about and I was getting a little anxious.  Then I noticed that there were several trailers set up on my block.  I saw signs yesterday that CSI: NY was going to be filming in this neighborhood, but nothing ever materialized yesterday so I figured they were just going to use the block for extra parking or whatever.  I started walking by trailers and I was checking the doors for names I recognized.  The first doors were the bathrooms…boring.  The next door said nothing…again…boring.  The next door started to get a little more interesting…Dr. Sheldon.  Hmmm…this might be good.  The next said Det. Dan…even better.  The next trailer was huge and had only one door.  As I approached I started to be able to make out the name on the tape…MAC.  Detective Mac Taylor…one of my all time faves! 

For those of you not familiar with CSI:NY, Detective Mac Taylor is played by Gary Sinise.  I love him.  So I have decided that it doesn’t matter what I write about today because I’m going to go downstairs and sit on the steps of my building and stalk Mr. Sinise for the rest of the day.  Gotta run…Catch you later.

God wouldn’t have given you maracas if he didn’t want you to shake ’em…

You all know about my love for the Housewives of NJ, but my love of reality TV runs so much deeper than that.  I love them all…and if someone is getting voted off it’s even better.  Because then there are tears and drama and lying and scheming and backstabbing…which is all very compelling. 

J hates reality TV.  Well…he likes Deadliest Catch and Heliloggers and Ice Road Truckers and that survivor show with the two guys and one doesn’t wear shoes.  But Bethenny or Jersey Shore…no way.  Don’t even bring up the Housewives to him. 

So last night I was kind of surprised when I walked into the room and he had turned the TV to Bachelor Pad.  That show is a mess.  And I love it.  I’m still not sure I understand the premise…something about old contestants from the Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons competing to win $250K?  Are they also supposed to be finding love?  And why are there so many more chicks that guys?  I don’t know about any of that but seeing Elizabeth fall to pieces while sitting on the floor of her closet…that is just reality TV gold.  (I’m mean…I know…I shouldn’t take so much pleasure from other people’s misery.) 

I was baking cookies while the show was on and while I was in the kitchen J started shouting out names to me.  Random names that really meant nothing at all…especially together.  What does Brandy have to do with Jennifer Grey and Florence Henderson?  Then I heard it…the music from my most favoritest reality show ever…Dancing With The Stars…and I realized that J was shouting the names of the new cast.  I quickly ran into the room to watch the rest of the announcement. 

I have been a DWTS since season 1.  I love the insane costumes and the music and the dancing and the wigs.  I love Bruno’s insane comments and the faces that Len makes and the bad, but so funny jokes of Tom Bergeron.  The show was also the inspiration for one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen…Jimmy Fallon’s impersonation of Kate Gosselin. 

This season’s cast might just be one of the best yet.  It’s like one long, pop-culture reference filled joke.  If you haven’t already heard the lineup here it is…

Brandy
Jennifer Grey
Margaret Cho
Audrina Patridge
Florence Henderson
Bristol Palin
Michael Bolton
The Situation
The Hoff
Kurt Warner
Kyle Massey
Rick Fox

That cast is a train wreck waiting to happen.  The Situation will be taking off his shirt every chance he gets and it will be like a contest between him and Maks to see who can be topless most often.  The Hoff brings all kinds of cheese with him…just check out the white on white suit he wore for the announcement.  Plus, there is always the possibility he will show up drunk.  Margaret Cho is hilarious and will hopefully bring many off-color jokes.  Rick Fox is…well, a fox…and will be fun to look at.  And Jennifer Grey will provide me with lots of opportunities to recite lines from my favorite movie of all time…Dirty Dancing.  The only thing I don’t understand is how Bristol Palin got herself on this list.  I mean, since when is she a star? 

I’m so excited for this season to start that I can’t stand it.  I have no predictions for a winner at this point because with Situation and The Hoff in there…there’s no telling how the voting will go.  But personally, I’m pulling for Jennifer Grey…because nobody puts Baby in a corner. 

Anyone else care to weigh in.