No crying in baseball…

When I was working at my first job out of college, there was a woman in my office who used to cry all the time. She got overwhelmed easily and she’d just start sobbing.  J and I worked together back then and we used to think it was ridiculous.  We would always point out that there is no crying in baseball…or accounting.

I have always prided myself on the fact that during my 16 year career, I have cried at work exactly three times…and it was always when someone had died.  I do not cry about work.  EVER.  It’s unprofessional and unnecessary and I simply won’t do it.

Except yesterday sucked.  I was working on something that really isn’t my job and I didn’t quite understand what I was doing.  I was so confused and frustrated that I actually asked for help…and let me tell you, that’s no small thing.  I ask for help almost as much as I cry at work.  So it was really awesome when my boss’s response was that he didn’t “understand what was so hard about his request”.

I’m sorry to say that I was on the verge of tears.  I managed to lock down the tears and I ate some chocolate to make myself feel better.  But I did spend the rest of the day completely stressed out.  I could practically feel my blood pressure rising.

On the way home, I read an article entitled “The Ten Things You Should Stop Stressing About” and I realized that my job is not worth getting myself all worked up over (no pun intended).  It’s just not that important.  So I’ve made my own list of the top 10 things I’m no longer going to stress over.

  1. Work.  I am an accountant.  I am not saving lives or curing cancer or educating kids.  I’m babysitting money, basically.  No one is going to die if I mess something up or make a mistake or don’t get to finish something.  So I’m going to do the best I can and I’m not going to worry about it.  No one dies in accounting…that’s my motto.
  2. Train delays.  Lately, the trains stink.  There are often delays and we get to the city at least five minutes late every morning.  I don’t stress about five minutes, but when we are sitting still for ten or fifteen minutes I start to get antsy.  It’s completely crazy…because there is not one damn thing I can do about it.  From now on, I’m going to embrace those delays and enjoy a few extra minutes of reading time.
  3. Dinner.  J can never decide what he wants to eat for dinner and I stress about it and try to read his mind to figure out what he wants.  That ends today.  If he refuses to offer up a suggestion for dinner, I’ll get what I want and he’ll have to live with it.
  4. Keeping the house clean.  I have two black dogs who shed a lot.  No matter how many times I sweep and vacuum, there is always dog hair on the floor.  It’s inevitable.  It made me crazy for a long time, but now I just don’t care.  I keep up with is as much as I can, but dog hair in the corners is just going to be a way of life.
  5. Writing blog posts.  Life is busy and while I’d love to sit down and write for an hour or two every night, sometimes that’s just not possible.  When I’ve been gone for a while, I start to stress about making time to write…which is stupid because this is supposed to be fun, not stressful.  And the reality is that I’d still write even if no one was reading, so I shouldn’t be stressing over losing readers.  Maybe if I take the pressure off myself, I’ll actually write more.
  6. Reading Chick Lit.  My best friends are both all brainy and they read things like Russian classics and autobiographies of Condaleeza Rice.  Sometimes I stress out about the fact that I’m not reading these things and I’m wasting my time reading fluffly nosense or romance novels.  But the thought of reading Condi’s memiors is a better sleep aid than Ambien and those fluffy nonsense books make my train ride so much more enjoyable.  So…keep your classics and your history.  I no longer feel bad about not reading them.
  7. Getting scratches on my car.  When I first got my car last year, I was fanatical about keeping it clean and parking it away from everyone so it wouldn’t get sratches or dings.  Then a branch fell on it at the train station and dinged the door.  And someone smashed the window.  And I put the laundry basked on the top of the trunk and ended up scratching all the paint.  I have learned to accept that it’s a car.  It lives outstide in the world with weather and people and other cars.  It’s going to get scratched and dinged and maybe even hit.  But it can get fixed and even if it doesn’t, it’s not that big of a deal.
  8. My 101 list.  I recently realized that I only have a handful of weeks to get my 101 list completed and there are a lot of items still left on there.  Because of time and money constraints, it looks like I might not get to do every single thing and I was stressing about that.  But the great thing I also realized is that #101 on my list is to write a new list.  Which means I can transfer the things I don’t get done.  I’m a little disappointed that I’m not going to be starting from scratch with a new list, but a trip to Disney during tax season and laying out $800 for a hot air balloon ride is just not in the cards right now.
  9. Time.  There are never enough hours in the day and I stress about getting everything done.  But I have to keep reminding myself that there is always tomorrow.  And while I understand that tomorrow is not guaranteed, if I plan well and I concentrate on doing things that make me happy, everything will fall into place eventually and everything will get done.
  10. Having a baby.  I’m 37, which is a fact that people really seem to enjoy pointing out to me along with the risks associated with having a baby at my age.  Trust me…I’m well aware.  I understand that time is running out for me and I have to do something about it soon if I want a baby, which I do.  But worrying about it constantly isn’t going to get J ready any faster and it’s not going help me get pregnant any easier when the time comes.  So I’m going to stop worry and just trust that the universe will send me a baby when the time is right.

I was sitting in traffic this morning and stressing about being late for work…and then I thought about this list and remembered that I shouldn’t be stressing.  I took a deep breath and calmed down.  Maybe this no stress thing will work after all.

So tell me…what do you stress about that you shouldn’t?


  1. Very good list. I over stress about several of the same things. Yesterday at work was kind of stressful but really what’s going to happen if the supplies I ordered don’t get to the appropriate department in time? Nothing that really matters in the bigger scheme of things.

  2. Babies and Animals with Black Hair – I feel you 100% on both of these. I will be 37 this year, and I have the whole biological clock that’s ticking loudly in my ear but my gut just isn’t sure/ready/freaked out about it.

    I’m happy I’m not alone, it helps me stress less.

    You are so right on all these points!

  3. Excellent list! I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to not stress as much about the things I can’t control. I have a lot of loose ends flying around, and it makes me nervous, but I just have to remember who is in control, and it’s not me. Everything works out exactly as it should, and you’re going to be just perfect!

  4. I think this is a great idea, and I really hope you stick to it.
    Being a worrier by nature, just thinking about trying to limit my stressing stresses me out. BUt the thought of you doing it makes me extremely happy, and I hope it makes you happy too!

  5. It’s so hard to take a deep breath when we need it most and relax. Stress is inevitable in our culture, but especially in our part of the world.

    I love that you created this list, if only to remind yourself that life will happen, there will be delays, and sometimes there just isn’t much we can do about that.

    And good lord, I refuse to stress about the baby thing either. So maybe I have baby envy all the time lately. Stressing over these things won’t make babies come faster… all this does is put a lot of extra pressure on ourselves (and our partners).

    It drives me crazy when Bryan can’t tell me what he wants for dinner. I’m taking on your advice here :)

  6. All of the above! Except the train delays.

    I have been on Weight Watchers for a long time, so I stress about food-which sometimes causes me to eat more-which causes more stress about food!

    As stupid as it sounds, I stress about meditation. I’ve been trying to make it a habit. But then I stress when I don’t make the time to meditate. How counter-productive is THAT!?

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