This year for Lent, my friend Robyn gave up procrastinating…and I seem to have taken it up as though it were my job.
I’m a lazy person by nature. I like to do lazy kinds of things…like watch television and play Candy Crush (damn you Candy Crush!). I have a tendency to put off doing anything I’m not going to enjoy (like cleaning the house) in favor or watching a Duck Dynasty marathon or Pitch Perfect (yes, again). But lately, I’m putting off EVERYTHING. I haven’t written on this blog or read a magazine or gotten a pedicure or made an appointment for the spa day J got me for Christmas. I got my hair colored this weekend, but only because my roots were so gray that I got depressed every time I looked in the mirror. These are usually things I love and I just don’t feel like doing anything. My general level of laziness has risen to new heights.
Work has been a nightmare lately. The director who started a year and a half ago and who we all loved decided to leave in January and no one has been hired yet to take his place. It means that a ton more work that I wouldn’t normally be responsible for is getting dumped on me. But it’s also been a huge blow to morale. He was a good guy…he made a challenging situation fun and his absence is being felt in more than just an increased work load. We are all just generally bummed.
It pretty much takes every ounce of my willpower to get myself to work in the morning and then every ounce of my energy to make it through the day. When I get home, I’m so wiped out that all I can do is stare at the TV until it’s time to go to bed. And the worst part is that I’m watching things like Paul Blart: Mall Cop on TBS. Not good. Part of me is saying that it’s time for a new job, but the other part of me doesn’t want to lose my seniority and my flexibility. Also…the devil you know is usually better than the devil you don’t. But something has got to give.
So as of today, the procrastination and laziness end. As of today, I’m getting up the morning with a purpose. I’m going to work with a good attitude. I’m going to do my best while I’m there and I’m going to stop stressing about what I’m not able to do. I’m going to come home and do things that make me happy. I’m going to write and listen to music and read and I am going to get a damn pedicure. I’m going to finish organizing my craft room and I’m actually going to use it. I’m going to watch the Netflix movies that I’ve now had for three weeks (Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter…I’m looking at you). I’m going to get my car washed because it’s filthy. I’m going to go to the grocery store so we have some food in the house and I’m going to cook occasionally so we can stop eating so much takeout.
I am in a rut, but I’m determined to break out of it. I will not let my job ruin my happiness, dammit! I made a new morning playlist to get me happy and dancing while I was in the shower. I thought it would be a good way to start the day and it was. Now I just have to keep that momentum going. Wish me luck and hopefully I’ll be back here tomorrow to tell you about all the things I learned on my recent trip to Virginia.