I wanted to tell you guys all about my amazing Mexican vacation…but really, there isn’t much to tell. It was boring…in the absolute best way possible. Basically, we got up, watched the sunrise, fell asleep in the sun for a few hours, had some drinks, ate lunch, went swimming, had some more drinks, took a nap in the cabana, showered, had even more drinks, went to dinner and went to bed. Then we did it all again the next day. Oh…and twice I got a massage. It was relaxing and blissful and even having to answer my work emails all week didn’t ruin my amazingly good time. It was fantastic…it just doesn’t make very interesting reading.
So instead of telling you guys about our vacation, I’m going to tell you about our trip home. Because at the time it sucked, but now that it’s over, it’s pretty funny. I blame Mercury in retrograde for every single thing that happened the day we left Mexico. And Mercury…is an asshole.
The day started out great…we went down to the beach and watched the sunrise and managed to squeeze in a couple of last lovely hours of lounging in the sun. We had to be in the lobby by 11AM to catch our shuttle, so at 9 we headed up to the room to get our things ready to leave. And that is when everything started to go wrong.
We had ordered some wine to take home with us…and two hours later it still hadn’t been delivered. That made us late for breakfast, which made us late in general. As I paced the room, impatiently waiting for the wine to come so I could finish packing I made J tense and we started to snipe at each other. Luckily, I caught myself in time before my sniping became an all out fight.
At ten minutes ’til eleven, we decided we couldn’t wait anymore. I finished packing, called the front desk to tell them we were on our way and to ask that they hold our shuttle and we headed out. Luckily, we ran into the guy with the wine in the elevator…so at least that worked out.
When we arrived in the lobby, we were told that our shuttle had left without us. So much for their assurances that they would hold it. While J tried to arrange a new shuttle for us, I checked out and checked the status of our flight, which was on time. A very snippy woman from the shuttle company told us that because we were late, they would not send a new shuttle and we’d just have to “take responsibility for our lateness and find our own way to the airport”. I was annoyed, but J calmed me down and just arranged for a cab.
As we approached the airport, I received an alert on my phone that our flight was delayed an hour. It was annoying to know that we’d rushed and now we’d have to wait…but as we were already running about 30 minutes late, I didn’t think an hour delay was such a big deal. However, as we made our way through the security line, we started hearing that our plane was actually still on the ground in NY and our delay grew from one hour to two.
J has no patience and hates to just sit around doing nothing. So I knew I was in for some crankiness…and boy, did I get it. He complained for an hour straight…until the gate agent told us we were lucky we were getting out at all. Apparently, if the plane from NY hadn’t taken off when it did, they were going to cancel in altogether. But I sat there and listened to J bitch about Jet Blue and extol the virtues of flying American Airlines. I tuned him out the best I could and played games on my phone.
Then our delay grew again…from two hours to three. To distract J, we went duty-free shopping and then regular shopping and I stress ate chocolate. After a while, we decided to eat lunch and we sat down at Johnny Rockets. Our food was delicious and I had the best chocolate milkshake ever. We only had a little while left before our flight was supposed to board and it wasn’t so bad. Until…
The woman at the next table jumped up and asked for napkins or paper towels. Her kid was throwing up. Now…something you should know about me…I’m not good with vomit. Seeing someone vomit…even a kid or the dogs…makes me feel like I’m going to as well. Also…I’d just eaten a massive cheeseburger and a milkshake. But the kid was on the inside of the booth and I couldn’t see him from where I was sitting, so I quickly got the check.
Unfortunately…as we were paying the bill, the child’s mother decided to lift him out of the booth and hold him up in the middle of the restaurant…where he proceeded to throw up all over the floor. J hustled me out of that place so fast.
After what ended up being a 4 hour delay, our plane finally boarded and other than the fact that Batman was only offered in Spanish, we made it the rest of the way home with minimal issues.
I have to say that even with that disastrous trip home, it was still a great vacation.
Here are a few pictures I took…