Stream of Consciousness Sunday…A Friendship Ends…

 

I have a friend that I’ve known almost my entire life.  But I’m beginning to think that the only reason we are still friends is because we’ve been friends for so long.  Once we had a lot in common.  We shared interests and dreams and goals.  We wanted roughly the same things out of life.  We were always together and we knew everything about each other.

Now, I read her blog and her Tweets and her Facebook updates and it’s like I’m reading about a stranger.  Our lives have taken different paths and we no longer have anything in common.  We no longer share the same dreams and goals.  We don’t even really have anything to talk about.  On the rare occassions that I see her, I feel awkward and uncomforable.  We used to be able to sit and talk for hours…and now it’s a struggle to make it through a lunch.

I’ve certainly had friendships end in the past, but there was always a reason for it…a fight or something that happened…and I could point to a specific moment and say “That is when our friendship ended”.  But in this case…there isn’t a specific thing…no moment or event…that led to the undoing of our relationship.  We’ve simply grown apart…we are no longer the same people.

I imagine that our friendship could survive if we both make an effort to maintain it…but I’m not sure I want to continue making that effort.  That sounds really bad…but it’s the truth.   Being friends with this woman is a lot of work and I don’t think I get enough out of the friendship to spend the time.  And the truth is…I don’t think she cares one way or another.  She’s filled her life with other things and I don’t think our friendship is very important to her.

It feels strange to make a decision to just let a friendship slip away…to not fight to maintain it…especially after you’ve known someone for decades.  I miss the girls we once were and the closeness we shared…but I know this is the right decision for me.  It just makes me a little sad.

 

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

1. Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
2. Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
3. Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
4. Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
5. Link up your post with all.things.fadra.
6. Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Comments

  1. All I can say is been there, done that. Many times. I still focus on the saying “everyone comes into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

    It’s okay to let nature take its course and when you are older, perhaps you will reconnect again.

  2. Wow. I am going through the end of a friendship currently as well. It is weird to let a friendship slip away. And sad. But I’m happy to have found a new friend in you.

  3. Difficult position to be in but why exert the effort to maintain the relationship just for the sake of maintaining it? Maybe it is time to just let it go…..

  4. I have tried to maintain friendships simply because I had known them forever and it seemed like such a waste to walk away from all of that. But in the end it was dead weight that consumed space in my life that needed to be opened up for someone else. And lives are cyclical…maybe someday you will have more in common and it will be easier. But a give, give, give relationship gets old.

  5. Sometimes I think ending a friendship is almost worse than getting over a breakup. Your girlfriends are all you have growing older and they’re the ones we develop an extremely close bond with. But I have lost several friendships like this over the years, for no real reason, other than the fact that we just drifted apart. It always makes me sad but then I realize that in order to sustain that friendship, both parties have to be willing to give in.

  6. I agree with Charlotte. Sometimes losing a friend is worse than losing a lover. It’s also necessary though, at times, to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationships. These are the people that influence you and if you don’t have anything in common with them, or you don’t respect them, it’s only going to drain you. Especially, like you said, if they don’t give a shit either way. Pardon my Captain Obvious statement here, but relationships are for relating, and if you can’t do that, then what’s the point?

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