I am a control freak. I’ve always been a control freak. Sometimes I try to deny it…but lately my control freak tendencies have gotten worse. The other day, J mentioned that he’s going to be on vacation for two weeks after Thanksgiving and he’s going to spend the time in CT, installing molding and building bookshelves and painting. At hearing this news, I had a physical reaction. My heart started beating faster and I palms started to sweat. What did he mean he was going to put up molding WITHOUT ME????? There is no way I can take those days off work…he’s going to be unsupervised. What if he messes it up??? What if I hate it???
Seriously…this was pretty much the worst news I’d gotten all week…you know, except for what’s going on with my dad.
Later on the same day, we decided to hang new drapes in the den. Two minutes into the project, we started arguing. J asked that I just step back and give him control of the situation for a few minutes. I did…I stopped giving orders and I let him be in charge. I stood quietly by, handing him tools and checking the level when he asked me to…and doing my absolute best to hold my tongue. It was almost painful.
On the second bracket, J ran into trouble…the molly bolts weren’t holding. I really wanted to jump in and help…but I stayed quiet and let him work out his next step. He tried several other anchors we had and finally found one that seemed to be working…until he overtightened it and pulled the whole thing right through the wall. I can’t tell you how difficult it was for me not to scream “I told you so!!!”
We decided to hang the drapes another day…after the hole in the wall is repaired. If I get my way…I will just hang them on a day when J is out…and I am pretty sure I won’t end up with a giant hole in the wall. But I don’t know how I’m going to handle being at work for two weeks while he’s home, cutting and nailing and sanding and painting all on his own. I’m going to be a basket case…and I’m probably going to have a really unproductive week at work.
I really have to work on letting go more.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
1. Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
2. Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
3. Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
4. Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
5. Link up your post with all.things.fadra.
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