I know…I promised this yesterday. But I had a hell of a time downloading my pictures. My camera and computer just did not want to cooperate with one another.
But I finally got my act together and I now present to you…
What I learned in Canada…
- If you are going to take notes for the blog post you plan to write about your vacation, you should do it before you start drinking…because if you do it after, those notes won’t make any sense. I have a note that reads “True Blood…didn’t like it, friends with the hula hoop and taking lessons and once shook hands with a cow wearing a suit.” I can’t tell you what the hell that means, but I know it was awfully funny when I wrote it down.
- You can find lots of things at the West Edmonton Mall…like a water park, an amusement park, an ice rink, a seal show, hand painted hermit crabs and a dress made of latex.
- When the waitress tells you that the drinks are really strong, you should believe her. You should not act like a jerk and pretend you like your drinks that way…because you will feel like an ass when you have to cut the drink with cranberry juice. (Once I added the juice, this was the best drink I’ve ever had.)
- Despite what New Yorkers think, it is possible to find delicious pizza outside of NY.
- Flip flops are not appropriate footwear for hiking…despite what your friend says.
- A waterfall always looks better from the bottom than the top. There really is no need to spend the extra energy to climb all the way up.
- Hula hooping is a very popular pastime in Canada…as is hitchhiking.
- I never thought I’d enjoy eating dinner in an alley behind a restaurant…but Chef Cowan’salley burgers are a religious experience.
- Sometimes there are bears hanging out on the side of the road.
- When the sign says “Don’t fee the animals” it’s still ok to give Cheetos to a chipmunk. It’s pretty funny to watch them eat it.
- Canadians really like dead animals hanging on the walls…and hunting. Also…when they stuff a polar bear, they leave the penis there for all to see.
- Canadian wisdom dictates that spit is a really good antidote to mosquito bites…and Canadians are so polite that they will offer to lick your mosquito bites for you.
- If you tweet about how good a restaurant is while you are eating, the chef will send you wonderful things to your table. Also…any restaurant that has pig shaped paper clips is alright in my book.
I know I’m leaving out a million things…Robyn and Wilzie made sure my trip was jam-packed with fun. We went to a bunch of Fringe shows. We visited the farmers’ market and had delicious waffles. We ate until I thought I was going to pop. We shopped…a lot. They were fantastic hosts and I had an amazing time. Thank you both so much for having me.