A conversation I had with my mother recently…

Me: I’m so glad you aren’t my mother-in-law.
Mom: What do you mean???  I’m a great mother-in-law.
Me: That’s not what Marisa says.
Mom: Marisa would never say that!
Me: No…not to your face.

I tease my mother all the time that she’s a horrible mother-in-law.  I do this because she prides herself on being a good mother-in-law and teasing her about it makes me laugh and drives her crazy.

The truth is…my mom’s pretty good.  She’s not super nosy or bossy…although she is a little opinionated and she constantly yells at J to sit down when he’s at her house.  But overall, she’s good.

The other day I read an article about a woman who takes the prize as the worst mother-in-law on the planet…

The article said that Carolyn Bourne, a British woman,  sent her daughter-in-law to be the following email…

from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

Wow.  I pity Freddie too.  That woman is the world’s worst mother-in-law.  I don’t know what I’d do if I got an email like this…but I’m sure I’d blog about it.  Luckily, I don’t foresee that happening…I don’t even think J’s mom has email and she’d never say nasty things like this!

What do you guys think of your mothers-in-law?  Do any of them give this lady a run for her money?

By the way…my sister-in-law never said anything bad about my mother and when she heard about the conversation I had with my mom, she labeled me a shit-stirrer!


  1. Ahh that is a scary mother in law. I do however attempt to get up as early as everyone else when I stay with my in-laws. Also my mother-in law is nice and I think my mom is a good MIL to B.

  2. Wow!
    Wilzie’s Mother was British, but nothing like this.
    She was a sweet, and very kind woman. Once when we went shopping together, I was complaining how I couldn’t fit into any clothes that were my regular size and she said “Well, you know they are making sizes smaller and smaller these days…”
    And she never complained when I didn’t eat the steak and stilton pie she made for dinner one night…

  3. Yeah… See, that woman could have given my ex-MIL a run for her money. This is the woman who, upon my questioning why the hall was decorated not in our wedding colors but in some approximation of colors we’d picked for towels and sheets for the apartment (seriously? there were balloons involved. It looked like a Barney birthday party had exploded up in there) she called me an ungrateful b!tch and told me that my mother and I should be on our knees thanking her for all the work she (insisted we let her do) did.

    For some strange reason I still married the guy, and after the ceremony she came up to me and apologized. Then she had the gall to say ‘Don’t you have something you want to apologize for, too?’

    It was a long 3 years.

  4. OH MILs. This one does seem crazy – but to be honest I agree with most of her pointers! Although I wonder if she sees the irony, it is generally poor manners to point out another adult’s poor manners. I definitely would not want her as my MIL.
    As for MY FMIL (F for future not the other word)- she’s pretty much okay. The part I like to focus on is that she and my FFIL adore me, are very happy for the Boy and I – and everything that she says comes from a place of love.
    That said, I have had to sub in the Boy to speak to her on several occassions for fear that I would lose my shit. Weddings I tell you – awesome that we have support financially from both families, but a pain in the awkward awkward ass dealing with other people’s finances.
    Ex. When we searched for venues and were discussing pricing per plate she suggested an appropriate amount for dinner would be $25/person. She is not contribuiting to that part of the wedding so I was easily able to avoid the conversation and move on.
    I have high hopes that the inlaws will go back to annoying me far less often once w-day has passed. Until we have children. Then God help them.

  5. That’s just horrible! From what I’ve seen so far, if you have a sane mother, your MIL will not be. I worry for my future, maybe I will stay single.

  6. Oh, good LORD almighty, that is just a NASTY email! I don’t know what I would do if I were to ever marry into that family, but probably run off with the circus or something. Geez. Also, what’s wrong with sleeping in? I would not adjust well in that house.

  7. Ha! I can completely see both sides of this, which may or may not be a good thing. The daughter in law could be a total bitch and just want everything, however, that mother in law is so out of line. I say this because something similar happened in my family, however, my mom was much much nicer about everything, and my SIL tends to be an ungrateful girl. Either way, not okay!!!

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