I’m very opinionated. (I know…you’re shocked, right?) I also like to think I’m right all the time. And I like to share my opinions…though I’d never force anyone to listen to them. But if you ask me what I think, I’m going to tell you…and I’m going to try to convince you that I’m right.
But unlike some people who only want to convince you that they are right (I’m looking at you, J), I really want to hear what you think, too. And if we disagree? Even better. I love a good debate. I want you to tell me why you feel the way you do and why you believe what you believe. I want to hear your argument as much as I want you to hear mine. But know that if I’m going to get into a debate about something, I’m going to make sure I’m pretty well informed on the topic and that my opinions are based on something. You should make sure yours are too. Don’t come at me with stupidity and certainly don’t come at me with hate. I won’t entertain that kind of conversation.
Something that I believe very strongly in is that we should all be allowed to be what we want to be and do what we want to do and pray how we want and dress how we want and love who we want to love…as long as we aren’t hurting anyone else. Last week, the New York State Legislature finally started to agree and they passed a bill allowing same-sex couples to marry in NY. It’s something that should have been done a year ago…but better late than never. I was thrilled at the news.
That thrill, though…it didn’t last long. Because as I read articles online, I saw comment after comment that were so awful I couldn’t believe it.
Some were just ignorant…like this one…
“they can pass this law, and they can get married. There is nothing we can do about that, however when they marry they should go through divorce court and get charged like everyone else who goes through a divorce.”
Well, yeah…I mean…that’s how it works. If you get married and you want to split up, you have to get divorced. There is no provision in the bill that allows automatic dissolution of marriage for same-sex couples just because they feel like it. The key words there are “just like everyone else”. That’s the whole point.
Some didn’t make a whole lot of sense…like this one…
“its unnatural.. when u go against the laws of nature u have to face its repercussions and when many years down the road america is full of illegitimate children and 99% of the population has STDs because they choose to stay unmarried and some choose to marry and be “gay” thats when u’ll realise where you’ve gone wrong. dont go against God.”
You don’t get an STD by choosing to stay unmarried. Or do you??? Shit…I might have to look into this one. I wouldn’t want to accidentally get an STD from being unmarried.
Some were scary…like this one…
“This unnatural immoral vile perversion will never be accepted by the majority.Skewed polls notwithstanding most people are repulsed by two men kissing mouth to mouth.The corrupt and greedy politicians of New York have sold their souls to the devil. Cuomo and the rest of them will be responsible for the violence that breaks out as normal people react to this foolish and bizarre perversion of marriage. A large number of homosexuals think a man married to a man is bizarre but they are scared to speak up(CNN).Search your soul, do you really think this bizarre vile version of marriage will fly? Are you just as comfortable with man kissing man as with man kissing a woman? NO! if you are not homosexual!”
Violence??? Normal people immediately resort to violence when they don’t like something? I don’t think so. That’s what crazy people do. And I really hope that this person is all talk because there is no excuse for violence.
And then there was my all time favorite…the argument that I’ve heard over and over again from ignorant people…
When the violence starts as this vile perversion keeps being forced on normal people , the homo’s are going to responsible for their own suffering. Would you agree to accept any form of marriage,bestiality, marriage to dead bodies, any and all vile sickening form of marriage? If no, you are a hippocrit.
This one just causes me to shake my head in disbelief. It’s so stupid. Same sex marriage is not the gateway to bestiality and necrophilia. It’s just not. And to say it is just makes you sound like an idiot.
You don’t have to agree with me. You don’t have to think that same-sex marriage is a good idea. But give me a good reason why it’s not…do not give me nonsense. And for Christ’s sake…please use a spell check. Your argument will always carry more weight if it’s spelled correctly.
AMEN SISTER! Use spell check AND don’t text type… typing “U” instead of YOU or “U’LL” instead of You’ll drives me insane!!! If you’re going to write out a whole blurb, typing U doesn’t shorten it that much moron!
Ugh, small minded individuals drive me insane. And people that are that judgmental do the same to me.
Yes I will openly admit I’m the girl at the bar commenting behind your back on your outfit and shoes, but in the end I’m not judging your character I’m just entertaining myself until my next drink arrives.
Furthermore… I kissed a girl, and I liked it, but I’m not gay. However, I think everyone should have the right to love and kiss who they want. I hope kissing my dog doesn’t make me into bestiality… was it that one kiss that lead me down this path? OH JEEZ!
I agree with you on debates. I don’t like to get into them unless I am passionate enough about the topic or have KNOWLEDGE, actual factual knowledge. I can tell you all day that I don’t like Twilight, but I can’t tell you more than the fact that what I’ve heard about it doesn’t appeal to me, so I won’t debate on it – maybe if I read the book I’d like it is what I tell the people who get into it with me over this topic. I’m the same way with politics, I need more knowledge to argue about it so I don’t. Religion, same deal… to each his own, so long as we aren’t hurting each other feel free to find your spiritual guidance as you wish.
This just gives me further proof why I adore you…
My first thought upon reading that last comment was “Idiot. Didn’t even spell hypocrite right!”
I have heard this argument up here too about how the next step is so obviously to marry your pet.
What can I say? People are stupid.
And to the good people of New York, I say, “Welcome to Canada in 2003 – where nobody has married their iguana yet.”
It’s like you’re in my head! THIS is why I like you lots and love reading your blog. I hate when people try to debate with me, or openly disagree with me, but they have nothing to back up their argument. That drives me completely insane. It’s like, “Look, I’m just right be default here, okay? Because *I* have an argument and reasons for what I believe. YOU are basically just following some sort of status quo or regurgitating what you heard/saw/read.”
The slipper slope argument in relation to gay marriage is just plain ridiculous. Yes, marrying animals and dead bodies is totally next, because like grown adults of the same sex, they can give their consent and enter into a legally binding agreement. *ROLLS EYES*
So, you do realize that I adore this post SOO much that I’ve linked back to it in my blog today?
Bravo and thank you.
I came over from Allyson’s site, because she’s a rock star and I adore her. Sometimes it’s better to just say nothing at all if you don’t if there’s nothing of consequence in the argument. And yes, spell check can be a good friend to everyone if you let it.
Ok, clearly I need grammar check to be my friend as well. I believe I changed thoughts mid-stream up there. Sheesh, I just screwed up EXACTLY what I was commenting on. What a mess I am!
The hardest conversation I’ve ever had with my mom was over Prop 8. I’ve never been so disappointed, but at least she could defend her reasons, however ignorant they are (and she’s since recanted). I’m so proud of NY for doing what we couldn’t! Even if it’s now a reason my friends are using to explain why NY is better
One of the problems we have (both as states and as a nation) is that we have hopelessly confused marriage the “social contract” with marriage the “religious sacrament”. In all 50 states clergy must be licensed by the state to perform marriages and they perform them in the name of both the church they represent and the government of the state in which they are located.
That means that we have confused the two functions. We need to go to a system where one is married by the state (a judge, a clerk of court) to receive the rights and responsibilities of legal marriage. Then if one is religious, one – well actually two, can seek the sacrament of the church.
If we split the functions, then some of the craziness would go away. Under our current system, there is too much emphasis on religious considerations and what different folks consider to be “sin” or “morality”.
Anyone ought to be able to marry anyone s/he wants to marry, but with respect for those religious organizations that are not comfortable with same gender unions. I hope that day comes in my lifetime.
ps: Ally sent me!
Visiting from Allyson’s… and I’m so glad I did.
Comments sections on new articles really are like the worst kind of train wreck. It’s a train wreck of stupid people who all articulate their stupidity with capslock, poor punctuation, and letters instead of words. And the worst part, like any train wreck, is that you keep watching! I can’t seem to keep myself from reading all those inane comments, even when it feels like my brain is leaking out of my ears.
Sometimes I just try to think that they’re being ironic in order to make myself feel better.
Allyson sent me…
Love this post. My favorite are those that use the definition of marriage being between a man and a woman as their argument as to why gay marriage should not be legal. Especially when these individuals have been DIVORCED (I am looking at you, Ma!) I like to watch them squirm when I point out the fact that if they want to make this law based on the “definition” of marriage, then divorce should be illegal as well, since if we want to get technical, marriage is also “til death do us part, forsaking all others”, if I remember correctly
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Dont worry, I dont REALLY think divorce should be illegal, I just use it as an argument that you cant make a law based on the definition of something but only chose the parts of the definition that are convenient for you.
As for my personal opinion on the issue, I think Webb above hits the nail on the head.
Because I consider myself to be a Christian, I believe that God made ALL of us – warts and all – and loves us all equally regardless of how we behave. If, in order to claim the benefits that heterosexuals have with marriage, it requires a contractual agreement (‘marriage’ of persons of the same sex) then so be it. I, like Webb, hope that in what’s left of my lifetime, we will see all states providing the means for that kind of marriage. None of us are so good and pure that we can pass judgement on anyone else for any reason.
It scares me that we share the same world with these people. Many of my best friends are gay, and all they want is the same rights as everyone else. And you know what else? Statistics show that many same-sex couples tend to outlast heterosexual couples, so why shouldn’t they be entitled to the same benefits? And the whole bestiality debate drives me insane. We’re not talking about a man marrying a goat. But why should the court stand in the way of two people genuinely in love who want nothing more than to get married? Anyway, very good, thought-provoking post, Shana.