Miss Manners…

I was reading this article called The 25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 and I realized that I know many, many adults…who are older than 9…who never learned these manners.  So I decided to post a few of them…with commentary, of course…as a public service announcement. 

  1. When asking for something, say “Please.” & when receiving something, say “Thank you.”   J never says please.  It drives me nuts.  So we have a routine…he will say something like “get me some ice” and I will completely ignore him.  He will then say “please, will you get me some ice?” and I will get the ice.  It’s like living with a toddler, but at least I know I’m ready to be a mom.
  2. Do not interrupt people who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.  – Someone in my office does this all the time.  If I’m speaking to someone or I’m on the phone, she’ll just walk up and start talking to me.  I think a good rule of thumb is…unless you are bleeding profusely, there’s no need to interrupt someone else.  What you have to say isn’t any more important that what I’m already saying.
  3. If you do need to get somebody’s attention right away, the phrase “excuse me” is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation. – Unless you say “excuse me” before you start talking, chances are I’m going to ignore you.  Unless you’ve got some sort of gunshot wound.  Then I might let it slide.
  4. When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later. – J has this stupid saying…”I’d rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission”.  He says it all the time.  I think it’s asinine.  The truth is…I don’t care what J does unless it’s going to be a major inconvenience for me.  Often, on Fridays in the summer, the people in his office like to go out for drinks.  I don’t care if he goes, but I’d like to be consulted first.  He never consults me.  He sends me a text message saying “I’m going to take a later train”.  This infuriates me and when he does finally come home, we end up fighting.  If he just put on his big boy pants and called me first I wouldn’t care and the fight could be avoided.  Why doesn’t he get this? 
  5. The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself. – I’m guilty of this.  I bitch about things all the time.  I’m trying to be more conscious of it and stay more positive.  Some days it’s much harder than others.
  6. Do not comment on other people’s physical characteristics unless, of course, it’s to compliment them, which is always welcome. – I read an article about Khloe Kardashian where she talked about how hurt she is when people comment on her weight.  I felt horrible for her because I once had a cashier at Target ask me when I was due and I cried in the car.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to be called a Sasquatch on the internet.  Don’t say anything about someone that you wouldn’t want them to say about you.  And never say something about someone you wouldn’t be willing to say to their face. 
  7. Knock on closed doors — and wait to see if there’s a response — before entering. – If you don’t knock, you might not like what you find on the other side of the door.  This is as much for your benefit as it is for the person in the room.
  8. If you bump into somebody, immediately say “Excuse me.” – I’m going to take this one step further and say…it’s not necessary to push someone out of your way.  You will make it to the train/bus/elevator/taxi without pushing me.  If not, there’s always another one.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten pushed out of the way by some guy on the train so he could make sure he got a seat. 
  9. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don’t pick your nose in public. – I would like to think that adults don’t have to be reminded of things like this, but if you ride public transportation, you’ll see that it needs to be repeated often.  J and I have changed seats on the train because we got stuck next to a nosepicker.  And I once watched a guy stick a pen in his ear and then suck on the end.  It was as nasty as you are imagining it.  People…do that shit in the privacy of your own house!  Thank you.
  10. As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else. – This goes hand in hand with the pushing on the train.  I have gotten hit with many a door that some asshole couldn’t be bothered to hold for three extra seconds. 

Anyone want to add to the list???


  1. I just threw up in my mouth a little – stuck a pen in his ear? That’s disgusting. Oh it makes me love that I’m no longer a public transit girl. Although the people watching is generally a delight – the disgustingness of it all is not something I miss.

    I’d like to add to the list – your emergency is not necessarily the emergency of the world. As the resident go-to tech person in my office this drives me bananas. First of all – learn to use a computer. Second, did you try restarting it. Third, did you check the step by step user manual that I created for you. Fourth, I am not our IT person – so if you have a problem sometimes you are going to have to wait until I have time to show you why you’re stupid it is not my job to jump when you come crying to me with a tiny little problem.

    I think it fits the list since whenever it happens I’m reminded of little kids and their EMERGENCIES. It’s an EMERGENCY! No it’s not. It’s a papercut. You’re okay. And I’ll get to you when I’ve got a minute to deal with you.

    Rant over.

    Oh! And the Boy does the please thing too – drives me nutso!

  2. This post is pure awesomeness!
    #2 – When my neice was little, she constantly interrupted whenever “grown-ups” were talking. I would like to say that she was being terribly rude, but I think fault lies with my sister because she would always shush the room so everyone could hang on the little one’s every whispered word.
    And let me tell you, it was never that interesting.
    #4 – This same rule applies to lying. I would much rather you tell me the truth now – even if it might make me mad. Because, guaranteed, I will be 100x angrier when I find out you lied to me.
    And trust me, I WILL find out…
    #9 – I love how you say people should do this in private rather than just not doing it at all! You don’t want them to stop sucking on their ear wax. You just don’t want to have to see it.
    Look at you…embracing people’s “quirks”!
    #5 – What do you mean…people aren’t interested in hearing me complain?

  3. I am totally guilty of a few of these… want to guess which ones? 😉

  4. I’d just expand on #8 a little bit. It is “Excuse ME” note the SECOND word. Maybe it’s just here in Minnesota (though I doubt it), but too often I hear people say “Excuse you.” In WHAT world is that appropriate? Unless, of course, you’re being snarky because someone should’ve said “Excuse me” and didn’t. But that’s not usually the context. Usually it’s used where “Excuse Me” should be, and it seriously drives me insane. So RUDE!

  5. Sucked on the pen that had been in his ear? *gag* don’t do it even in the privacy of your home, please. These are all great rules, I love them all and I break them all — except the pushing one. And I always hold the door open. :)

  6. A friend at work is a terrible interrupter. I dont’ even bother talking to her about anything of substance anymore because if feels like she just not listening. I agree with all of these! common courtesy people!

  7. Oh, YES to all of these. And EWWWWWWW to the pen-in-the-ear guy! OMG, that’s NASTY! I can’t stand when people can’t look behind them to see if there’s someone else who can benefit from an open door. Some people are just so damn rude.

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