Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
Apparently, when I wrote this you thought I was joking. Well, I wasn’t even slightly kidding. I was dead serious, my friend.
It turns out that your prediction for an early spring was a big lie. A lie that got my hopes up and then left me crushed when he had a freaking snow storm at the end of March. A snowstorm, Phil…with hail and everything!
Despite one exceptional day when the temperature reached 75 degrees, it’s been freezing and snowing since your brilliant prediction. Today is March 28th…when the temperature should be in the high 50’s. In reality, it’s 26 degrees with a windchill of 17. What is that about?
I’m sick of coats and gloves and hats and scarves and tights. I want to run around in summer dresses with bare legs and sandals. I want to leave the house without needing a ten minute head start to bundle up. I don’t want to have to cut the dogs’ walk short because my fingers are frozen. Even J, who never complains about being cold, complained this morning that this is the winter that will not end and he’s sick of being freezing all the time.
Phil, you are a jerk…toying with us like that and making promises you couldn’t keep. Now you and I have a problem. Make sure you keep one eye open at night and you look over your shoulder often. Because I might be paying you a little visit so we can have a nice chat and I can teach you what happens when you lie to freezing cold people just looking for a little nice weather.