Really, Mr. Huckabee???

I’ve been trying to write this post all day and I can’t seem to get it all out in a coherent way.  I’ve thought of scrapping it a few times, but I’m really curious to hear what you all think of it.  So here goes…

As a rule, I avoid talking about politics with people I don’t know well and I never talk about it here.  I don’t like when people try to force their politics on me, so I do my very best not to force my politics on anyone else.  I also don’t want to offend someone who believes differently than I do.  So I’ve stuck to my rule since I started this blog. 

Then I read this about Mike Huckabee…

“People see a Natalie Portman who boasts, ‘We’re not married but we’re having these children and they’re doing just fine,” Huckabee told radio host Michael Medved on his show Monday. “I think it gives a distorted image. It’s unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of-wedlock children.”  Calling Portman’s pregnancy “troubling,” Huckabee went on to say that many single parents don’t have the resources to hire help, the way someone like the Black Swan star would.  “Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care,” he said. “And that’s the story that we’re not seeing.”

and I decided to make an exception to my rule. 

Because Mike Huckabee is an idiot.  (Actually, when I first read that I fired off an email to a friend and I used much stronger language, but I like to keep it somewhat clean around here.)

I disagree with Mike Huckabee about pretty much everything and I can go on for hours about how bad he would be for this country should he ever successfully run for president.  But I don’t want to get into all that.  I really want to focus on these particular comments that I find really disturbing.

First of all…taking a shot at Natalie Portman was really cheap.  She’s a Harvard graduate, an Academy Award winning actress and an adult fully capable of supporting a child.  (Not to mention that she’s engaged to be married to that child’s father.)  She also took a stand last week and spoke out against prejudice and hate when she refused to be associated with John Galliano.  She always advocates for things she strongly believes in.  Natalie Portman is a very impressive woman and a wonderful role model…and it was a stupid choice to try to make an example out of her. 

But stupidity and cheap shots aside…it’s the rest of his comments that really bother me.   Yes…I know that there are single mothers out there who are poor, uneducated and on government assistance.  I know that there are women out there who have babies on purpose in order to get additional assistance.  I know that there are teenagers who are stupid enough to think that it’s cool to have a baby our of wedlock.  But most?  I disagree. 

Most of the single mothers I know are not single by choice. Some had husbands who either left them or passed away.  Some had boyfriends who decided to bail when the baby came along.  I also know one woman who chose to be a single mother because she wanted children and decided it was better to raise them alone than in a marriage to a man she didn’t really love or want to be married to. 

The point is…there is more than one way to be a family.  And marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness or stability.  But Mike Huckabee can’t see that.  He’s far too closed-minded and that makes him dangerous. 

At least, that’s what I think.

But I want to know what you all think.  Is Mike Huckabee a closed-minded idiot or am I just a crazy liberal?


  1. I absolutely agree with you. His comment is very close-minded. There are a myriad of circumstances that result in single-motherhood. Sure, there are those who can’t support their children and have to depend on social services and they and their children struggle for years. Yet there are many others who are not single mothers by choice, or they are and that’s fine too. I’m in the camp that I don’t particularly care what another woman does with her life so long as she’s not making choices that put herself in a worse position, i.e. she’s having a hard time supporting one child and fails to prevent another pregnancy.

    And if Natalie Portman chooses not to marry her fiance, I’d be fine with that, too. I’ve never felt that a baby should be a reason to get married. A great couple that we know got pregnant very early on in their relationship, like after a few months. Everyone was asking when they’d get married. I commend them highly for making sure their relationship is solid before getting married. They’ve lived together as a family along with her son for almost three years now and they’re HAPPY. Their children are warm, clothed, fed, and loved. While the mother is technically single, she’s not alone.

  2. Ally commanded me to come visit, she keeps talking about this Shana, so I finally said who is Shana and why am I missing out on the awesome? Anyway, that’s how I wound up here…

    Politically I tend to veer towards the right but with some serious liberal views when it comes to family and equality. Mr Huckabee pisses me the F off! I know I want children, I don’t know if I want or will find the guy to give me those children. That may mean having them on my own and being a single mother one day. My mom did a kick-ass job and I had two kinda crappy fathers. So who is he to say what works?

    Anyway, off to do some more looking around…

    • I want kids too and while I do have a boyfriend, who knows what will happen tomorrow. Kids aren’t something I’m willing to give up. So I may also choose to have them on my own. I’m an adult and I can afford to do it so who the hell is Mike Huckabee to tell me I shouldn’t?

  3. I totally agree with you!

    Being married does not guarantee happiness or a perfect family. My mother and father were divorced when I was young and I was raised by a single mother. She was never on assistance of any kind. And I am a far better person being raised by a happy single mother than a miserable married mom. My mother and father did not get along and the best thing they could ever have done for me, their child, was to end their marriage. It bothers me that people harbor such negative assumptions about single mothers.

    • I have a friend in a miserable marriage. His kids are completely miserable too and they worry about their parents constantly. How is that better than having two separate, but happy, homes?

  4. I agree with you 100% and I’ve also heard through the grapevine that he defended Bristol Palin… for being an unwed teen mom saying people/the media were too hard on here.. um.. HI, what’s the freaking difference?!?!?!?

    • The difference is that Natalie Portman is an adult and able to fully support a child on her own. Bristol Palin was a teenager unable to support her son without the help of her parents. I’m pretty sure that’s not the distinction Mike Huckabee would make, but it’s the truth.

  5. Whoa, I cannot believe he said this, specifically this part…“Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care,”. That’s just straight offensive to all single mothers out there. Pretty much 80% of my friends were raised by single mothers and not one of them fits in to that category. I’m not a big fan of MH in general.

    • Exactly. I sent this quote to my friend who is a single mother by choice. Her children are well cared for and happy kids. She was completely offended.

  6. First off, I highly doubt that young girls everywhere are going to say “Wow, Natalie Portman is so cool! I wanna have a baby out of wedlock to be just like her!” Huckabee is an idiot.
    Secondly, my Mom was “very poor, uneducated, (couldn’t) get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, (her) kids would be starving to death”.
    She got pregnant when she was 18, married the father, they had another baby, and then she left him when he dangled their oldest child out of 2 story window and threatened to drop him, and she decided that she wasn’t going to put herself or her children in any more danger.
    She was uneducated, because of that she had a hard time finding a job (and when she did, it didn’t pay very much). With the help of her parents and, yes, social assistance, she was able to put a roof over her kid’s heads and food in their bellies.
    She was the strongest person I ever knew.

    • If this was facebook, I’d hit “like” after this comment!

    • I knew your mom’s story and I thought about her when I read this the first time. I agree that she was amazingly strong. She did what she could with the situation she was in and she made sure her kids were taken care of. I think she’s someone to be admired, not judged.

  7. The biggest idiots are usually the most judgmental. This irritates the crap out of me, but doesn’t surprise me one bit.

  8. What an idiot!!!!

    I was raised by a single mom. She made a decision when I was 6 to leave my alcoholic dad. She wasn’t working, had 3 children, and didn’t have a college education. It wasn’t always easy but I know for sure we were all much better off without growing up with an alcoholic in the house and parents who fought all the time. Also because of my mom’s situation she taught us independence and how to take care of ourselves.

    We never received public assistance, my mom was lucky enough to have a very supportive extended family, and she worked her butt off to pay the bills. People are so ignorant!

  9. I don’t do politics on my blog and I won’t do them here either.

    So I will instead say that it has not been my experience that women of any age undertake the decision to have a child lightly.

    And if such a woman exists?

    Nothing Natalie Portman or any other public figure does will change that woman into a thoughtful contemplative mother.


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