When I got on the bus last night to go home, it was crowded and stuffy and I was really tired and cranky. I just wanted to close my eyes and will the bus to get home fast.
At the stop after mine a woman got on the bus and sat in the very last available seat…which was, of course, right next to me. She wanted to chat. She grilled me for ten minutes about whether the bus was always this crowded at this hour and should she try taking an earlier bus? What about a later bus?
Finally, she shut up and I closed my eyes.
I few minutes later I hear the noise of a dog barking coming out of her purse.
I realize the barking is her cell phone.
She doesn’t realize it.
She finally figures it out and pulls out the phone…
(Capital letters indicate high volume.)
(Eye roll from me…because is this lady serious?)
YEAH, I’M ON THE BUS.
(Yup, it appears she’s serious.)
THE PHONE BARKED AGAIN.
YEAH…BARKED…YOU KNOW, LIKE A DOG.
(This causes me to smile…because it’s pretty funny.)
NO…IT BARKS…LIKE WOOF WOOF WOOF.
(Now I’m giggling.)
ANYWAY, I’LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET OFF THE BUS.
And she hangs up. I close my eyes again.
Then the phone barks again.
YEAH, I’M ON THE BUS AND THE PHONE KEEPS BARKING.
NO, I MEAN IT’S BARKING…LIKE A DOG.
YES, I’M SURE. LIKE A DOG. IT GOES WOOF WOOF WOOF…WOOF WOOF WOOF.
(Now I’m full-fledged laughing.)
I AM NOT CRAZY…THE WHOLE BUS CAN HEAR IT…IT BARKS LIKE A DOG…WOOF WOOF WOOF.
(Now I’m in hysterical and in tears.)
THE WOMAN NEXT TO ME IS LAUGHING…BECAUSE THE PHONE BARKS LIKE A DOG AND SHE CAN HEAR IT AND SHE KNOWS I’M NOT CRAZY! YOU’LL SEE WHEN I GET HOME. I HAVE TO GO.
And she hung up. She tells me her son thinks she crazy, but she thinks he changed her ring tone to screw with her. I think she might be right, because he called again…and again.
She didn’t answer.
She just let her phone bark…like a dog.
I was really hoping for a peaceful ride…and even though I didn’t get it at least it was humorous!