J called me at work yesterday at 3:30 in the afternoon and we had the following conversation:
J: What’s today?
J: Really? It’s Thursday?
J: No…it can’t be…it’s only Wednesday.
Me: I’m sure it’s Thursday.
J: Really sure?
Me: Seriously? Yes…I’m really sure.
J: How did that happen?
Me: Well…first it was Monday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday…now it’s Thursday. That’s usually how it goes.
J: Haha smartass…I just can’t believe it’s Thursday.
I would love to tell you the conversation ended there…but it didn’t. We went back and forth a few more times before he finally agreed that it was, in fact, Thursday. My point in telling you that conversation is that J is annoying. Also…that this week seemed to fly by. There were moments during the work day a few times that dragged. By overall, the days went really fast. Which is both good and bad. Read on…
- One of my co-workers, E, is pregnant and she’s due in about five minutes. Today is her last day of work for two months. She went to the doctor yesterday and he told her she can start labor at any time. When E came back to the office after her appointment, mother co-worker, C, stated that if E goes into labor at work she feels extremely confident that she can deliver the baby. We laughed hysterically at this…because C is afraid of both blood and of vaginas. We’re not even really sure how she made it through her own labor and delivery. We laughed so much at C’s conviction that I was afraid E was going to go into labor. She didn’t…although when she came into work this morning she said she is feeling some contractions. She’s going to the doctor in an hour and I have a feeling she’s not going to come back. This makes me so happy for her…but so sad for me…because I’m going to have to do all her work while she’s gone.
- We spent last weekend at the new house, unpacking things and trying to get organized. While we were unpacking the pots and pans, J announced that we’d have to put them under the sink…next to the cleaning products. Now…I haven’t shown you pictures yet of my kitchen…but there are about 12 lower cabinets and they were all empty at that point. I asked him why they would need to go under the sink. He pointed out that some of the cabinets were shallow and wouldn’t fit the pots…which is true. Then he pointed out that the cabinets next to the stove had pull out drawers and were, therefore, no good for pot storage. I tried to explain to him that the pull out drawers were actually designed for pot storage. He still insisted that the pots should go next to the bleach and Windex and ammonia. So he was sent out of the room and I finished unpacking the kitchen myself.
- The other night, J and I were watching TV and I was reading a magazine. He mumbled something to me a few times and I wasn’t really paying much attention to him so I kept saying “What?”. When I looked up from my magazine…he was doing a Google search for hearing aids. He thinks he’s pretty funny. He isn’t. Although once…we were in the middle of a fight and I caught a glimpse of his computer screen. He had searched “how to dispose of a body”…which made me laugh hysterically and immediately ended the fight. That time…he was pretty funny. Also…there are a lot of sites that instruct one how to get rid of a body…and some of them are serious.
- Yesterday, I was trying to cross the street to get to the bus stop after work. Some asshole in a Lexus came flying through a red light and almost hit the guy crossing in front of me. Then he went flying into the pothole in the middle of the street and I heard the most satisfying sound…that of his tire popping and all the air rushing out! He pulled over to the side of the street…into the bus lane. A cop then came over and told him to move his car to the other side of the street. So he had to drive up a block on a completely flat tire in order to get to an open spot on the other side. I have to tell you…it made my day to watch! You want to run a red light and possibly hit pedestrians who were lawfully crossing the street…well that you get a tire blowout. And that’s karma…bitch!
- The bus home last night was extremely crowded and overheated. I managed to get a seat, but it was still very uncomfortable. Luckily…the woman next to me was playing some game on her phone and it kept making a click-click, click-click noise…which wasn’t annoying AT ALL! (This is sarcasm.) The traffic was barely moving and it took two hours to get home. After about an hour I’d had all the click-click, click-click I could take and I was about to lose my shit. Then…through divine intervention…her battery died! Which is good, because I was about to throw my own phone at her. I don’t know what I was happier about…the dead phone or the busted tire.
- We have two new employees in my office. Even though it’s a small office, we do not have a casual dress policy and the three of us who have been here a while dress up every day. This includes E…who actually wore heels every day until a month ago and who is dressed up even today…when she’s about to go into labor. The only time we are allowed to wear jeans is in bad weather. Well…today…the two new employees decided to show up in jeans. And of course…it’s a day when there will be many family meetings in the building and certain family members will be very upset about the jeans. My question is…where did these two get the idea that they could wear jeans? No one asked about it. They just decided it was ok. I let them know it was not ok…but why do I have the feeling this isn’t going to be the last time I see them in jeans?
That’s it for me this week. I’m off to spend my weekend painting the entry way of the new house and hanging pictures and hopefully buying a tv…finally. Have a fabulous weekend!