Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
I heard that you have predicted an early spring this year. That’s excellent news because this winter is kicking my ass.
I usually love the winter, but nine snow storms since Christmas? Yeah…I’m over it. This morning’s storm was the worst yet…what, with the skating rink-like conditions of my driveway and street. It sure made getting to the bus an adventure. I’m still not sure how I made it up the steep driveway and then down the hill to the bus stop without falling. I’m going with some sort of divine intervention…because, Lord knows I’m not coordinated enough to do that on my own.
Anyway, you can imagine how thrilled I was to hear that we’d have an early spring. It me smile even though my face was being pelted with drops of freezing rain. You really made my day, Phil.
Now I just hope you were telling me the truth. I did some research and I’ve read that you are only accurate about 39% of the time when predicting an early spring. That’s not a great track record, buddy. This weather has left me in a very fragile mental state and I’m not in the mood to be toyed with.
So you’d better hope that you are right or you and I are going to have a problem. I’m not above driving to Gobbler’s Knob and kicking a little rodent ass. Seriously.
I hope it doesn’t come to that. Enjoy the rest of your big day!
A note to my readers…I’ve been keeping a secret. A big one. One that I’ve been dying to tell you. One that I’m going to reveal…tomorrow. I know…I’m such a tease…but I love suspense. I blame all the reality TV I watch for making me this way. But I digress. Anyway…make sure you stop by tomorrow. It’s going to be good…