I’m about to have a come-apart…

Actually, that’s not true.  I’m not quite that hysterical…but I love that phrase.   Really, I’m just a little off my game this morning.  I got here early so I would have plenty of time to post about my trip.  The problem is…I’m the only one who did get here early.  The building manager…the only person with a key to the front door…showed up half an hour late and I had to stand in the rain waiting for him.  Now I’m all rushed because I have piles and piles of work to get to.  I hate being rushed…I also hate that I just spilled syrup on my brand new sweater…dammit! 

Anyway…before I make any more of a mess of myself…I present you with the highlights of my trip to Georgia…

  • Allyson is a fantastic hostess.  She picked me up at the airport with a fully stocked bar in the backseat of her car!  Ok, well it was a cooler, but it was a cooler filled with a nice selection of booze…red and white wine, mojitos and mimosas.  She had stocked it nicely with everything I like.  We headed downtown to the Atlanta Aquarium, but first we sat in the parking lot and drank mimosas.  We finished off the bottle.  It was a lovely way to start the day. 
  • The aquarium was great…if you are in that area I recommend stopping in there.  We were mesmerized by the Beluga whales and the whale sharks and the manta rays.  Of course, that might have been the mimosas…
  • I also recommend taking a tour of World of Coke.  I am a Diet Coke addict…I’m drinking one as I type…and I’m very attached to the brand.  So I loved being at this place and seeing the old advertising and the bottling process and the different brands.  The tasting room was interesting…though some of the flavors were gross. 
  • We took a walk through Centennial Park, which was gorgeous.  The highlight of that little tour was the sculpture of the naked man.  For whatever reason, the anatomically correct statue was practically the most hilarious thing we’d ever seen.  Maybe it was the wine we were drinking immediately before our walk.  Either way, you’d have thought we’d never seen a penis before.  I’m sad to report I have like 5 pictures of it. 
  • After our walk through the park we decided to go to Maggiano’s…home of the chocolate zuccotto cake.  I’d heard so much about the orgasmic qualities of this cake that I had to try some for myself.  Well, after sitting in traffic for about an hour to travel 8 miles (it felt just like being in NY!) we made it to the restaurant.  The food was so incredibly good and we drank yet another bottle of wine.  Unfortunately, when it was time for that cake, there was no way we could eat another bite.  Allyson wasn’t joking when she said it was the size of her head.  So we packed it up and took it back to the hotel with us.  We carted that damn cake around for three days.  Finally, we ate it in the car on the drive from Savannah back to Atlanta.  It was as divine as I was promised it would be.  As fate would have it…my favorite SIL just got a job at the only mall in the entire tri-state area that has a Maggiano’s.  I will be visiting her there quite often. 
  • Our hotel in Atlanta…The Glenn…was phenomenal.  The bed was squishy and warm and oh so cozy and the shower…well, after Allyson got out of the shower she said she was sad that she was only going to be able to take one shower in there.  It’s rainfall shower head was heavenly.  The only odd thing about the hotel…no Bible in the room.  I was thinking that maybe someone stole it, but who the hell would steal a Bible?  That’s got to be some kind of double sin or something. 
  • Our drive to Savannah was uneventful.  We chatted a lot and the three and a half hours flew by.  Upon our arrival we went to River Street to have lunch.  We found a restaurant where we could sit outside and had the best salads and drinks.  The drinks were so good, in fact, that we returned to the same place for dinner!
  • After lunch we strolled around and did some shopping.  We kept running into a very strange man with shorts so tight they gave him camel toe.  He told Ally she had pretty hair.  Eventually, we had to start crossing the street to avoid him.  Also, I tried to take a picture of this guy playing the saxophone in front of the river…and he kept hiding behind a sign so I couldn’t get a good shot.  Allyson swore he was a wanted criminal, but I think he just wanted me to give him money before I took his picture. 
  • By the time it got dark people in costume were out in full force.  Halloween in Savannah is not for little kids.  Even I was a little shocked by the amount of boobs and penises on display (fake…mostly).  People were really creative with their costumes and it was fun to walk around and see everyone dressed up.  We even got to see slutty Freddy Kruger…a cosutme I will never understand. 
  • Our Haunted Hearse Tour was amazing.  Wes, our driver, was a lot of fun and gave a great tour.  He took us to a burned out house that is supposedly haunted.  I definitely got the feeling it was.  He told us great ghost stories.  He was game for the ridiculous amount of sexual harassment thrown his way, which was very nice of him.  His friend Mike, another tour guide, was also game…especially when Allyson decided to check under his toga to see if he had anything underneath. 
  • After the tour, Ally ducked into the bathroom and I waited outside…long enough to watch another girl on our tour ask Wes for his phone number and to hear Wes totally shoot her down. 
  • At that point we made our way back to the hotel, pausing to take pictures along the way.  Allyson practically attacked a guy in a Gumby suit for a photo.  Then a woman came up to Ally wanting a picture with Sookie Stackhouse.  While they were taking that picture, the woman’s friend came up and tried to lick Ally’s fangs.  It was bizarre. 
  • Sunday we decided to go for something a bit more tame.  We started with brunch at Paula Deen’s restaurant (which was delicious) and followed that with a walking tour of the historic district and some shopping.  It was low-key and the perfect follow-up to our crazy Halloween night. 
  • Monday morning we did more shopping and took a quick trip to Bonaventure Cemetery before heading back to Atlanta for my flight. 

Oh, and one last thing…we watched Forrest Gump on Sunday night.  In the beginning of the movie, Forrest is sitting on a park bench in Chippewa Square and he starts talking to a woman sitting next to him.  She’s not very friendly to him…even after he offers her some chocolate.  Well…I can definitely say that scene is total crap.  In reality, Forrest would have started chatting and the woman would have turned to him and asked him where he was from and why he was in Savannah and how long he’d known Jenny.  And she totally would have accepted a piece of chocolate.  Because that’s the way people there are.  Which is really kind of nice.

It was a wonderful weekend and I had so much fun.  Thank you so much to Allyson for driving all over the state and back again in order to make sure I had a good time.  You are the best and I’m so very excited for your trip to NY in the spring!


  1. That was an excellent recap, darling!! I am so glad the South showed you how beautiful and captivating she can be…and how she’s so much prettier with just a little booze coursing through your system. I’m off to do my on recap since you were so kind as to leave out my contracting the Yellow Fever and all. Nonetheless, I’m ass and it should be revealed so as to shame myself into not doing that again. And that guy is TOTALLY on America’s Most Wanted.

    • I really felt your bout with Yellow Fever was your story to tell. Besides, it’s not like I was all supportive…I laid in bed watching TMZ until I fell asleep. I wasn’t exactly Florence Nightengale.

      What I did leave out that I meant to include was that Spanish Moss is an orgasm. Make sure you include that part.

  2. I just went to the Atlanta aquarium a few months ago and I was mesmerized by the whale sharks sans alcohol.

  3. Hi! Visiting from SITS. Sounds like quite a great weekend!

  4. HOLD UP – a visit to NY in the Spring!? Um hello? “Always wanted to visit NY” is over here (or should I say “up” here)!!!

  5. What a great recap, Shana! I’m really intrigued by a sexy Freddy Kruger. And when I say “intrigued” what I really mean is “why would that costume actually exist??!!”

    You and Allyson make a good team :) I love that you both are covering different aspects of the trip on your blogs.

    Hope you had a great weekend, Shan!


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