Open Letter Thursday…

Dear Mr. Bus Driver,

I’ve been taking the bus to work for many years, so I think I know what I’m talking about when I say you, my friend, are the worst driver I’ve ever had.  That’s some kind of accomplishment, because there are some pretty bad drivers.  I mean, there’s the guy that listens to the radio and eats sunflower seeds and occasionally takes his hands off the wheel to open his coffee thermos.  There’s the guy who wears sunglasses at night and is more worried about who is talking on their cell phone than whether the cars in front of him are stopping.  Oh, and let’s not forget the guy who waited 15 minutes before letting dispatch know that the bus had broken down, delaying our trip into work even further than it had to be.  Yup…there are some doozies out there.  But you…you take the cake. 

First of all…there is a schedule.  I understand that there is some flexibility in that schedule to allow for unforseen traffic problems.  However, the acceptable deviation from the schedule is 5 minutes…not 25 minutes.  If the schedule says you are supposed to be there at 7:20PM, you should be there no later than 7:25…7:30 at the very outside.  7:45 is unacceptable and you? You come at 7:45 every night.  It’s not just a fluke.  It’s every. single. night. 

Of course, once I got on your bus, I immediately understood what the problem was…you slow down for the green lights.  What is that about?  Are you afraid they are going to suddenly turn red without any warning?  Let me give you a hint…they turn yellow before they turn red.  Trust me…you’ll have some advanced notice before you have to stop.

Speaking of yellow…yellow means slow down and get ready to stop.  It does not mean gun it and go flying through the light after it turns red.  Seriously, dude, are you trying to make up for all the time you waste slowing down for the green lights by running the red ones?  It doesn’t work that way.  Learn this…green means go, yellow means slow down and red means stop.  Please get these straight before we have an accident. 

Also, you don’t have to let every single taxi cut in front of you.  I understand that taxi drivers tend to be aggressive, but your bus is bigger and will win a fight with a taxi any day.  I’m tired and hungry and I’d like to get home…every time you stop to let a taxi go in front of the bus you are delaying my arrival at home and my dinner.  This makes me way cranky and you don’t want me cranky…trust me. 

You see…when I get cranky I start to notice little annoying things.  Like how you open the window and then close it thirty seconds later only to open it again thirty seconds after that.  Or how every time you stop for a red light you turn on the overhead light, pull out your clipboard, make notes and click your pen three times before putting it away.  You probably have some kind of OCD and I should be tolerant of that.  However, I’m tired and hungry and cranky and those little annoying things you do drive me up the freaking wall!  Last night, I really wanted to throw something at you.  I didn’t because assaulting a bus driver is a felony…but man, do you try my patience. 

Luckily, I finished my last tax return last night and I will not be working late for the next few months.  That means you and I won’t be seeing each other…which is a good thing.  I’m praying that you get assigned to a different route before tax season starts up again in February.  I feel sorry for those other riders already!

Looking on the bright side…I’d like to thank you for making the 16 mile ride from my office to my house last for an hour and fifteen minutes.  Spending that extra forty-five minutes really made me feel like I got my money’s worth.

Sincerely,

Shana

Comments

  1. See, this is why I prefer the train. Are there no trains accessible to you (or would it add on to your commute)? I used to take the train when I commuted from Rockland and it was annoying but at least they were on time (mostly). I can’t deal with unpredictable sunflower-seed-eating-slowing-down-at-green-lights (the eff??) bus drivers. Hopefully when things slow down for you in the office you’ll go back to your regularly scheduled evening commute (without the many hiccups. Though you have to admit, it makes for good blog fodder).

  2. Wow. I could not handle that. My drive to work is 10 minutes and I love that. I guess that’s the perk of living in NC. I wouldnt’ mind closer access to broadway shows though.

    • J wants to move to NC and I keep resisting…using excuses like being close to Broadway shows. The reality is…there are days when you could get to NY faster than I can get from my office to my house. It’s ridiculous.

  3. stop whining. it could be worse – you could drive in w/ mommy and she could sing welcome to the jungle for you or look for big bags on the street to avoid or ask you the same question 15 times in a 15 minute period.

  4. Well congrats on your last return!! That’s awesome! And it sounds like a pretty great reward that you won’t have to see the Bus Driver from Hell again for awhile. Maybe by next year they will have found a replacement for him.

  5. Wow. This is why I totally don’t mind owning a car. Yikes.

  6. You are soooooo right Shana!!!!!!!!

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