I just want some sleep…

I love to sleep.  It’s seriously one of my all time favorite activities.  I love when the room is chilly and I have nice cozy blankets and smushy pillows and I’m all wrapped up and comfortable.  I like it dark and quiet.  When sleep is like that it’s fabulous.

In my house, sleep doesn’t always go like that.  In fact, it hardly ever goes like that.  J can’t sleep without the TV, so it’s never quiet and it’s never dark.  Also, the TV in our bedroom throws off a lot of heat, so it’s never really cool in there either.  Plus, I have my two little space heaters…I mean dogs…that refuse to lay anywhere but right on top of me.  Oh…and did I mention that J snores?  He does.  But that kind of sleep is pretty good too.  After all, it’s still sleep. 

What I really hate is when sleep alludes me…which happens a lot.  I have no problem falling asleep.  Hell…these days I fall asleep anywhere…the couch, the recliner, bed.  The problem I have is staying asleep.  It seems that every night I wake up between 3AM and 5AM and then I can’t go back to sleep.  I try, but all I do is lay there…thinking thoughts that go something like this…

What time is it?…Great, 3AM…I have to pee…if I get up I’m going to wake up the dogs…maybe I should wake them up and take them out now…then maybe I can go back to sleep…but that’s a dangerous habit to get them into…then they will wake me up at 3 every day…maybe I should get up and watch TV or read…maybe I should go downstairs…maybe I should take a shower…or what if I just roll over here and sleep on this side…God, these pillows suck…I have to remember to buy new pillows…oh, and a smaller casserole dish…what else do I need?…maybe I should go to Bed Bath and Beyond tomorrow…oh, and I have to return those socks there too…yeah, I’ll go there tomorrow…and I have to remember to call Susan…she’s never going to believe what’s going on at work…did I send that check out?…yes, but I have to speak to that woman at the insurance company about that other claim…I think I’m going to move my desk tomorrow…I can’t stand being in that corner…I have to take my black dress to get tailored before I go away…speaking of away, what am I going to be for Halloween?…also, I have to make sure the house is stocked with food…maybe before I go, I should make J a list the way I did for my mom when she watched the gods…does he even know how to take care of things around here without me?…I’m probably not giving him enough credit…that reminds me, I need to iron his shirt tomorrow…maybe I should turn over this way…I really have to pee…maybe if I’m really quiet, the dogs won’t wake up…crap, I never took the laundry up last night…maybe I should go fold the laundry and put it away…maybe I can go to sleep if I just stop thinking………nope, not working…this sucks…

And so it goes for two or three hours until my alarm finally goes off and I have to take the dogs out and I have to get ready for work.  I have had this kind of insomnia on and off for years.  It hasn’t been that bad lately, but the last week or so it’s been ever single night.  I just started a new medication, so I’m hoping that’s the culprit and that this will wear off as I get used it.  I have no interest in trying a sleep medication…because with my luck I’ll be one of those people who sleep-eats or sleep-drives.  So that’s out.  Maybe I’ll get so tired from a lack of good sleep that I’ll just start sleeping through the night.  Wishful thinking I’m sure.

Does anyone else have any brilliant ideas for me that don’t involve Ambien or the like?  I’ll try anything…well, almost anything.


  1. Unfortuantely I have this problem too, but when the insomnia kicks in I take a Benadryl before bed and sleep through the night…I don’t know why, but I feel like that’s better than a “sleeping pill”.
    I woke up the other night and started imagining that the neighbour got a dog. And what if she started throwing the poo into our yard. Would I throw it back? Would I bag it and leave it at her front door? Would I ring her dorrbell and mush it in her face?
    There was no sleeping after that.

  2. OMG – I can’t tell you the number of times this has happened to me!! It’s so frustrating! It’s like my brain goes, “hey i think it’s time to make sure we’ve got enough money coming in to cover all the bills coming up… and uh, what if the 2nd car breaks down again… and uh, what one of the dogs gets sick… and uh, what if, what if, what if??” And I’m like, SHUT THE HELL UP, STUPID BRAIN.


    I do hate it when that happens and I do sympathize. Sadly, I don’t have any suggestions for how to make it stop. If you get some good ones though, please send them my way.

  3. UGH. That is the WORST. I’ve definitely had several nights like that where my brain just refuses to shut off (which is funny, since sometimes it refuses to click on when the day has started). I’ve tried everything from counting sheep to the soothing sounds of sleep-inducing music and I still come up empty. Sometimes I try a bit of bedtime tea (you can find it at Trader Joe’s) just before I sleep with a touch of agave nectar and that will do the trick.

    Hope you have some down time this weekend so you can catch up on your zzz’s!

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