Today is my baby brother’s birthday. He’s 31. He is now officially in his 30s…as opposed to just being 30. I don’t know about you guys, but for me that was a painful transition.
My brother recently started visiting me here on Fumbling and I think he secretly gets a kick out of it when I write stuff about him. So today…in honor of his birthday…I’m going to write a whole post about him. I’m sure he’s thrilled right now…wondering just what is in store for him. Oh brother dear, I think you know what I’m going to tell everyone.
In order to fully appreciate the story I’m going to tell, you really have to know my brother. Since you don’t, I’ll give you some background…
My brother was always a typical guy…even when he was a baby. His room was always a mess. His clothes were always disheveled. He was often found playing in the dirt…or, as he got older, working on a car.
Notice the big mud pie next to him...
And here we have the dirty face...
He was about comfort and utility. His wardrobe usually consisted of one pair of jeans, one pair of sneakers, several pairs of basketball shorts and many, many t-shirts. He would wear these clothes and shoes until they literally fell apart or, in the case of sneakers, smelled so bad, that he had no choice but to replace them. He always had this weird obsession about being clean and would often shower multiple times per day…but he just didn’t put that much effort into his wardrobe. Case in point…
My brother with his best friend Kristy hanging in the backyard.
After he met my sister-in-law we started to notice that things were slowly changing. Like the time he told my father what kind of fabric softener that my mom liked. We all used the fabric softener in that house for years…but he was the only one who knew what kind it was. Then there was the time that my mother was buying sheets and he told her to make sure to get a thread count of at least 400. Um…wait…what? Since when does my brother know anything about thread count?
The transformation happened slowly. First he started wearing slacks. Then he bought leather flip-flops that cost $100. Then he got really excited over the Nordstrom anniversary sale. Then…instead of a rottweiler, they got a cockapoo. Don’t get me wrong…she’s awesome…but she’s no rottweiler.
I got him the apron for Christmas...he didn't think it was as funny as I did.
See what I mean...not vicious at all...
Recently I have learned that my brother’s transformation is complete. He is now a full-fledged, card-carrying METROSEXUAL. I present the following story into evidence.
We are all in the funeral home the other night at my aunt’s wake. My dad is sitting next to me, J is standing on my other side and my brother and SIL are standing in front of me. I think my mom was there too. My brother glances down at my dad’s shoes and says to my SIL “I’m really glad that I didn’t wear my Calvin Klein shoes.” I respond “Why, are they uncomfortable.” He says…”No. They are just almost the same as the shoes Daddy is wearing and then we would have looked like idiots.”
Really? Because I’m pretty sure no one would have ever noticed. What is this…Project Runway?
He was totally serious.
Then my sister-in-law picked a piece of dog fuzz off his suit. He said to her “There’s still dog hair on me? I don’t understand…I lint-rolled in the car.”
Wait…you what now?
This is my brother, people! He doesn’t lint-roll. He doesn’t even know what a lint-roller is!
But apparently, he does.
Because now…he’s all dapper.
On vacation...he's wearing sandals!
I have to say…it’s quite the impressive transformation. He looks very handsome all dressed up and it’s adorable the way his eyes light up when he shows me all his new shoes. (Last time I went to his house, there were like 4 new pairs!)
I was giving my sister-in-law full credit for this transformation. But then I remembered this…
Apparently…he was dapper at a very young age.
Happy Birthday!!!! And remember…I tease you because I love you! (Also, I’m sure you’ll get me back someday.)
Yeah I just busted out laughing at the picture of your bro in the apron holding the little dog. I also really like the last pic. My brother is 1 year younger than me. At the beach last week he was really interested in ‘getting tan’ and wanted us to give him tanning oils (which I don’t have). My sister and I both found this hilarious.
HA! Happy Birthday to your Brother!!! Maybe it’s just that he’s more of an adult now?
My boyfriend went from what we all called metrosexual to being more of a outdoor kind of guy – the minute I introduced him to surf gear and comfort that’s all he wants to wear – I would love to see him in suits and rock shirts again, maybe this winter I can make that happen!
A very happy birthday to your brother (and I had a hard time with that when I turned 31 earlier this year, but it doesn’t seem to affect guys as much, right?).
And it’s a nice transformation. I wonder if it comes with getting older because my brother is approaching his 30s and I’ve noticed a considerable change in his wardrobe choices (THANK GOD for that).
Awwwww this is so sweet! Your brother is exactly ONE DAY older than my husband.
I hope that dapper guy has a fabulous birthday. I love his little kid pics!
How sweet Shana and I love the pictures!
Ok I would just like to clarify a few things. First it was 5 pairs of new shoes and second I always looked good even if it was just a t shirt and basketball shorts lol. Just like you I also blame…..ur uh credit the SIL for the changes but like you said I was dapper even at a young age she just brought it back out. As far as getting dirty I still do I don’t that will ever change. Just one last thing I will get you back for this someday. Thanks for the birthday wishes.
Please excuse me while I get caught up…
1) Neal has learned by now that if I don’t get fed on a regular basis, it can turn bad to NASTY in 0.2 seconds. He has since started carrying snacks in the car…granola bars, raisins, basically anything that won’t melt…which rules out chocolate. And sometimes, that’s the only thing I want. So, I totally get this. And I would not have tipped him either. If it’s going to be 2 hours, they need to be upfront about that and say “I will put your order in. Just so you know, it will take 2 hours to deliver.” Then you could have made an educated decision. But only if you understand what they were saying. Which is why I always make Neal call.
2) If J has enough time to reply to an IM with “stop”, he has enough time to say something else. Otherwise, there’s that whole “offline” thing.
3) I love your brother, the Virgo! Happy Birthday big brother! And your SIL is no slouch, either, in her cute little Coach wristlet and shoes!! Congrats to him for knowing about thread count, Calvin Klein and presumably, Jimmy Choo. However, we may have to have a Come-to-Jesus about that poor puppy dressed as a pumpkin…