I am a non-smoker. I’m not just a non-smoker…I’m the most annoying kind of non-smoker…I lecture people and I make a big deal about the smell and I wave smoke away from my face. I make it very well known that I hate smoking and I think it’s a gross and disgusting habit.
The thing is…I was a smoker. All through high school and most of college I smoked…a lot. Marlboro Lights and sometimes Camel Lights. I smoked in my car and sometimes in my house. When I went to college, I would stand outside between classes and freeze my ass off for a smoke. I would sneak cigarettes in the stairwell so I didn’t have to go 10 flights down to smoke.
I started smoking for the same reason most stupid kids start…because my friends were doing it and I thought it made me look cool. I kept smoking for the same reasons. Also, because it gave me something to do with my hands when I was drinking. I never loved it though. It was just something I did.
One day I realized that it was just so stupid and it was affecting my asthma too much, so I quit. Just like that. No gum, no patches, no hypnosis. I just stopped. I mean, I’d have one cigarette every now and again, but I was no longer a smoker. That was about 14 years ago.
J likes to smoke, though he’s not a heavy smoker. He’s more of a social smoker. When we went to Aruba we bought a carton of cigarettes at duty-free because he wanted to smoke while we were on vacation and didn’t want to pay $15 for a pack. He didn’t even go through one pack while we were gone, so we had a lot left over when we got home. They are finally almost gone.
Friday night, J went out for drinks after work and I picked him up at the train station later on. He asked me to bring him a pack of cigarettes so he could have one in the car. I got to the train station early and I decided to have one cigarette while I was waiting for him.
And I liked it way too much. I like the taste and the feeling of the smoke in my lungs and the slight head rush I got. I liked it so much, in fact, that I had another one on Saturday night. J saw me having the second one and said “What’s with you and all the smoking?”. All the smoking? It was two cigarettes. That’s hardly a lot.
When I woke up on Sunday I had a gross taste in my mouth and my throat was sore. I started to wonder why and then I remembered that I’d smoked right before I went to bed. That’s when I remembered why I’m a non-smoker.
Those two cigarettes were great, but they are the last ones I will have for a long time. If you are a smoker, you should quit, too.