J woke up really early this morning…before 5AM.  Of course, once one of us is awake, the dogs think it’s time for them to get up too.  After 15 minutes of Sofie jumping all over me, I finally got up and took them outside.  Once they did their business we went back to bed.

Now, I sleep with earplugs because J likes the TV on all night and he snores so loudly it’s almost like sleeping next to a running chainsaw.  So when I went back to bed I put my ear plugs back in.  I heard absolutely nothing.

J was bored because there isn’t much on television at that hour.  Instead of reading the paper or possibly going back to sleep himself, he decided to harass me.  I was sleeping very peacefully when I suddenly heard something.  I opened my eyes to find J’s face just inches from mine.  Since I’d been asleep I freaked out until I got my bearings.  Specifically, I screamed and punched him in the throat. 

He found my reaction entirely hysterical, of course, because he’s got the mentality of a 12-year-old sometimes.  I was not amused…

S: Seriously?  What the fuck is wrong with you?  Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
J: What?  I was just watching you sleep…you know some women find that adorable…when their boyfriends gaze at them lovingly while they are asleep.
S: I’m sure those women’s boyfriends do it from across the room…or at least across the bed.  Not two inches from their face.
J: I couldn’t help it (snickering quietly)…you looked so peaceful…just like an angel.  (more snickering)  That is until you woke up and turned into Rocky Balboa!
S: Bite me…you scared me half to death.
J: Maybe you were more like Ivan Drago…(in a Russian accent) “If he dies, he dies.”
S: Seriously…it’s quarter to 6…go the hell to sleep.

There you have it…a glimpse into the romance and magic that happens in our bedroom.


  1. Wow. That totally sounds like my hubby and me. Men.

    P.S. There’s a giveaway over in my neck of the woods!

  2. Geesh, that J is such a Don Juan, yeah?

    I remember when hubs and I were first together….he always had to have the TV on to fall asleep. It drove me crazy, because I needed darkness and quiet to sleep. We had an agreement that we’d have the TV on one night, and then off the next.
    That lasted a very short time and now I find that I need the TV on too.

    TKO for Scotty. (I loved the Rocky reference!!)

  3. I have to get up an hour before my husband in the mornings so I’m more likely the person to get close to his face and stare at him while he’s sleeping. Then he wakes up and yells. I have only done it like 2 times though and I felt bad about it. But still, he works from home. He get to commute to the den while I have to drive all the way to work.

  4. At least you can feel secure in the knowledge that if anyone breaks in while you’re sleeping, your first instinct won’t be to cower under the covers, but to smash them with a throat punch.

  5. This made me laugh my ass off but I would have done the same thing. When you return home tonight… tell J.. in your best Russian accent… “I must break you”

    P.S. Did you hear your work neighbor got engaged!?!?!? NOOO SAY IT AIN’T SO ORLANDOOOO!

    • I know he did. We shed some tears here yesterday. Today we are all wearing black. Of course, him being engaged isn’t going to stop me from ogling him and drooling every time I see him!

  6. HAHAHA! That’s awesome.

    I’m sure The Surfer and I have had similar interaction.


  7. WTF. He totally deserved a punch in the throat for that! If M ever pulled that crap with me, I’d do the exact same thing.

    I never understood how anyone could find it romantic or sexy that someone was watching them sleep. Personally, I find it a little more than way creepy.

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