J woke up really early this morning…before 5AM. Of course, once one of us is awake, the dogs think it’s time for them to get up too. After 15 minutes of Sofie jumping all over me, I finally got up and took them outside. Once they did their business we went back to bed.
Now, I sleep with earplugs because J likes the TV on all night and he snores so loudly it’s almost like sleeping next to a running chainsaw. So when I went back to bed I put my ear plugs back in. I heard absolutely nothing.
J was bored because there isn’t much on television at that hour. Instead of reading the paper or possibly going back to sleep himself, he decided to harass me. I was sleeping very peacefully when I suddenly heard something. I opened my eyes to find J’s face just inches from mine. Since I’d been asleep I freaked out until I got my bearings. Specifically, I screamed and punched him in the throat.
He found my reaction entirely hysterical, of course, because he’s got the mentality of a 12-year-old sometimes. I was not amused…
S: Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
J: What? I was just watching you sleep…you know some women find that adorable…when their boyfriends gaze at them lovingly while they are asleep.
S: I’m sure those women’s boyfriends do it from across the room…or at least across the bed. Not two inches from their face.
J: I couldn’t help it (snickering quietly)…you looked so peaceful…just like an angel. (more snickering) That is until you woke up and turned into Rocky Balboa!
S: Bite me…you scared me half to death.
J: Maybe you were more like Ivan Drago…(in a Russian accent) “If he dies, he dies.”
S: Seriously…it’s quarter to 6…go the hell to sleep.
There you have it…a glimpse into the romance and magic that happens in our bedroom.