It would be funny if it was happening to somone else…

J is sick.  He has a cold.  It was really hot on Sunday night and he fell asleep watching tv with a fan pointing directly at his head.  He woke up congested and it’s gotten worse since then…he’s coughing and sneezing and wheezing.  This is, of course, my fault.  Not because I told him to point a fan directly at his head or to fall asleep on the couch while watching TV instead of going to bed when I went to bed.  No…it’s my fault because I told him that I didn’t think it was necessary for him to install our window air conditioners at 11:30 at night.  I didn’t tell him he couldn’t or shouldn’t…I just said that it wasn’t that hot and it was one night and that I could suffer through it if he could.  (It was supposed to get cooler the next day and our new central air system should be installed by next week…before it gets hot again.)  I was thinking of him…after all, I wasn’t the one that was going to carry the heavy units up from the basement to the second floor. 

So now he’s sick and it’s my fault and he’s driving me nuts because he’s such a baby when he doesn’t feel well.  I’ve been trying to be really nice and helpful, but it’s hard because he gets kind of bitchy.  Most of the time I just want to smother his face with a pillow.  I have actually been able to be pretty pleasant while I run up and down the steps, getting him glasses of water and Advil and scratching his back where it’s itchy because of the sunburn.  I’m kind of proud of myself.  I also decided that I was going to be nice and sleep in the guest room so he could have the whole bed to himself.  I’ve managed to pass it off as a completely selfless act, but really…I just don’t want to get sick.

The bed in the guest room is my old bed from when I lived by myself and I used to think it was the most comfortable mattress ever.  I now know that I was sooooo wrong.  It’s a firm mattress with no pillow top.  It’s horrible.  It’s like sleeping on a slab of plywood.  I miss our nice, comfy, plush pillow top, king sized bed.  I’m hoping that he starts feeling better soon because I don’t know how much longer I can stand that bed.  I might be better off sleeping on the couch!  So anyway, I’m not sleeping well on the plywood-like bed as it is.  To make matters just slightly worse, it seems that a woodpecker has taken up residence in the tree outside the guest room window.  He wakes up and starts pecking at 4 AM, which is awesome. 

Funny aside about the woodpecker…a few years ago, my parents had a woodpecker take up residence in the eaves of their house and that little sucker did a lot of damage to the wood siding on the house.  I told my mom yesterday about the one we have living in our tree.  This conversation is what followed:
Mom: Make sure he doesn’t peck at your house.
Me: My house is brick.
Mom: Yeah, but they do a lot of damage.
Me: My house is brick.
Mom: But look what they did to our house.
Me:  Dude, my house is brick…this is a woodpecker…emphasis on the wood…
Mom: But that didn’t stop the one on our house.
Me: What is your house sided with.
Mom:  Wood…Oh!

Sometimes I swear she tries to make me nuts!  Which leads me to the next part of my story.  So, to recap…I’m exhausted from taking care of my sick child boyfriend, sleeping on the crappy bed and being woken up my the f-ing woodpecker every day before the sun comes up.  I’m also still really busy at work, even though tax season is over, and I had to leave early yesterday to go to a memorial service for my bosses’ father, who passed away a few weeks ago.  I was doing five different things after lunch when the phone rang.  It was my mom, informing me that she thought she might have a kidney stone.  I don’t know much about kidney stones…other than they can cause you to go into spasms of excruciating pain pretty quickly.  She wanted me to stay available just in case she began writhing in pain and needed to be taken home.  I suggested that perhaps it was a good idea for her to call my dad and have him come and pick her up right away and take her to the doctor to be checked out.  She told me she was too busy at work to leave, but she just wanted me to be aware of what was going on so I could stay close (I work a few blocks away from her)…just in case. 

I tried reasoning with her that staying at work was a bad idea because even if I was available to take her home, I still had to take her on the train, which would be difficult.  I tried pleading with her to call my father, but she refused.  This whole thing stressed me out because I was tired and cranky and I didn’t need another thing to worry about.  So I called my brother and sister-in-law and found out that they were also in the neighborhood for SIL’s physical therapy…did I tell you guys she had a knee replacement last week???…and they called her and informed her that they would be picking her up on their way home from PT.  OK – one less thing to worry about, right?  But I was still worried because I didn’t want her to be in pain or sick.  And I was about to be unreachable because I was heading to the memorial service. 

I called J quickly before I left to let him know I was leaving the office for the memorial and to fill him in on the situation with my mom.  I told him the whole story and when I finished he said “Wait, you aren’t coming home after work?”  Wow…first, that’s all he got out of my story, which means he wasn’t really listening after I mentioned the part that affected him.  Second, I told him no less than 5 times that I was going to this service and I was going to be home late and it’s written on the calendar that is hanging on our fridge.  So I told him again where I was going and what time I might be home.  He said “But I’m sick.  What if I die before you come home?”  I told him to take the skirt off and suck it up.  He whined some more, but I got him pizza when I got home so, ultimately, he was happy. 

I had to shut my phone off when I got to the service, which stressed me out the whole time I was there.  The service was lovely and I was glad I went.  My bosses’ father was a great man who did a lot to make the world a better place and I learned that I’d benefited from his philanthropy in many ways during my life and never even realized it until yesterday.  It sort of made me wish I’d worked for him instead of his kids…but anyway…I digress. 

As soon as I could, I ran out of the service and turned on my phone.  I had three texts from my mom.  She was at the hospital emergency room.  She was fine but my 86-year-old aunt was being admitted for pneumonia.  Of course, my mom and cousin were in the emergency room and neither was getting cell service, so it was about an hour before I knew what was going on and when my mom finally called me back I was on the bus and couldn’t talk to her.  Luckily, my aunt is doing ok and resting comfortably.  They admitted her so they could get her on some strong meds and my mom said that she wasn’t feeling so bad…when my mom saw her she complimented her jacket and her bag…so I’m taking that as a good sign!

Of course, I just talked to my mom and she’s still not feeling well…and she’s at work again.  But I give up fighting with her.  I’ll just have to see what happens.  Hopefully she’ll be fine and I’m sure my aunt will make a full recovery and be home driving my cousin nuts in no time.  Speaking of my cousin…she has a small crush on the doctor at the hospital and I told her she should ask him for his number.  She’s resisting because he’s younger than her, but I say that doesn’t matter.  I’m going to focus my energy today on convincing her to ask for his number.  (I know you are reading this, M…go get your handsome doctor!!!)

Wow…that was a lot of crap.  If you are still reading…thanks for sticking around so long!  Sorry I was so long winded…I guess I got carried away.  I’d better get back to work.  Have a great day everyone.  Come back tomorrow…I promise I’ll have a shorter post!!!


  1. That is really sweet up you to give up your king sized nice bed for the guest one. I usually try to avoid that at all costs. It sucks when a bunch of bad stuff happens all at one time. I’m sure things will get better soon.

  2. Eek! You have a lot going on! Hope your mom and aunt get better real soon. I am not nearly as impressed with the boyfriend’s bahavior while sick but I will wish him a speedy recovery for your sake!

  3. Gah! It sucks when life piles it all on at once! Sounds like the boyfriend needs some big boy panties or a swift kick in the…well, area that the panties would cover. 😉

    Hang in there!

  4. You had one of those days where I’m wondering…”Is this ever going to end?” Sleep can’t come fast enough sometimes.

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