When I am unhappy, I eat. I crave junk food. Pizza, Chinese, cookies, brownies…you get the idea. High in calories and low in nutritional value. When things started to get really bad at the end of last year, I started trying to eat away all the sad feelings. Obviously, that did nothing to make me feel better and, in fact, served to make me feel worse, because now I’m fat.
Seriously…fat. Not chubby, not slightly overweight, not big-boned. Just fat. I am completely out of shape, totally exhausted, achy and often in pain. Nothing in my closet fits and, because I carry a lot of weight around my middle, on the really bad days I even look pregnant. In fact, I was at the Christmas Tree Shoppe a while back and the cashier asked me when I was due. NO JOKE! I wanted to die.
As part of my plan to get happy again and to just feel better, I am going to lose weight. (Like how I did that? Not I’m going to try or plan to or attempt…I AM going to do it…it’s all about being positive, people.) I am a big fan of the Weight Watchers program. I had gained some weight (not even close to where I am now) about 8 years ago and I used WW to lose about 40 pounds. It worked so well. I had a few friends who did it with me and we went to meeting together and we were all each other’s support system. It was fabulous and I loved it. WW is a great organization with a plan that works…if you stick to it. Which is usually the problem.
So I geared up back in January and I got out my books and my food scale and I logged in to the WW site. I was gung-ho. Then, three days in J came home with cheese steaks. When we lived in the city we used to eat at this place all the time and their cheese steaks are soooo good. I hadn’t had them in forever and he wanted to bring me a special treat. Ok, so minor setback, but I kept at it. Then one morning someone brought muffins to work and they were from E.A.T. – which, if you are from NYC, you know are soooo good. So I had one of those. Of course, you also saw the insane amount of chocolate J bought me for Valentine’s day. That didn’t help either. There are just too many things that are soooo good.
I just couldn’t stick to the WW plan this time. I was doing it by myself, with no support system and because it was tax season, I wasn’t even going to meetings. It was next to impossible and I was totally discouraged. I decided that I really needed to take a more drastic measure to get myself started. My mom told me that she had decided to join a different program. She had gained a few pounds and wanted to lose and she’d had success with NutriSystem in the past. I decided that a support system would be great and so I joined along with her.
Normally, I don’t think these kinds of programs work. I mean, what happens when you stop eating their food and go back to a normal diet? Aren’t you going to gain the weight back? The answer is, yeah, probably…if I go back to eating the way I was before. But I’m not going to do that. I have a lot of weight to lose…about 80 pounds…and I don’t plan to use NutriSystem to lose it all. I really just wanted an idiot-proof way to jump-start my weight loss and give me some motivation to keep going. Eventually, I plan to switch over to WW.
I’ve been doing this for a few weeks and so far I’ve lost 5.8 pounds and a couple of inches. I put on a pair of pants on Saturday and they went from being tight and uncomfortable to being almost a perfect fit. Also, the new bra that I bought a month ago is really kind of loose…which is slightly upsetting because it was expensive, but I’m not complaining! The food hasn’t been bad…there has only really been one thing so far that I didn’t like. The program couldn’t be easier…I just grab a breakfast, lunch and some fruit in the morning to take to work and I order a salad to go with my lunch. For dinner, I just heat up an entrée and make some veggies and for dessert I pick out of my bowl of goodies.
The junk is less tempting because I know it’s not an option and I’m starting to get over the cravings. I made cinnamon buns for J and they sat on the counter for three days without me touching them. Last night, he was eating peanut butter cups and I didn’t even try to sneak one. I’ve had Cadbury Cream Eggs in my house since Easter and J doesn’t like them so they are just sitting there. Those are my favorite and even they have stopped calling to me. Right now this program is totally doing the trick. I’m avoiding all of these trigger foods successfully and I’m losing my craving for them.
I’m not really feeling the loss in my clothes yet…probably because I’ve been wearing everything loose-fitting to hide the weight gain in the first place. But I can obviously see the changes on the scale and in my measurements and that’s making me feel great. I’m totally motivated to keep going. I’ve taken a before picture and maybe at some point I’ll be brave enough to post some progress shots. I make no promises! It’s really not pretty. But I will keep you posted on my progress.
Wish me luck…