Another step in the right direction…

When I am unhappy, I eat.  I crave junk food.  Pizza, Chinese, cookies, brownies…you get the idea.  High in calories and low in nutritional value.  When things started to get really bad at the end of last year, I started trying to eat away all the sad feelings.  Obviously, that did nothing to make me feel better and, in fact, served to make me feel worse, because now I’m fat. 

Seriously…fat.  Not chubby, not slightly overweight, not big-boned.  Just fat.  I am completely out of shape, totally exhausted, achy and often in pain.  Nothing in my closet fits and, because I carry a lot of weight around my middle, on the really bad days I even look pregnant.  In fact, I was at the Christmas Tree Shoppe a while back and the cashier asked me when I was due.  NO JOKE!  I wanted to die. 

As part of my plan to get happy again and to just feel better, I am going to lose weight.  (Like how I did that?  Not I’m going to try or plan to or attempt…I AM going to do it…it’s all about being positive, people.)  I am a big fan of the Weight Watchers program.  I had gained some weight (not even close to where I am now) about 8 years ago and I used WW to lose about 40 pounds.  It worked so well.  I had a few friends who did it with me and we went to meeting together and we were all each other’s support system.  It was fabulous and I loved it.  WW is a great organization with a plan that works…if you stick to it.  Which is usually the problem.

So I geared up back in January and I got out my books and my food scale and I logged in to the WW site.  I was gung-ho.  Then, three days in J came home with cheese steaks.  When we lived in the city we used to eat at this place all the time and their cheese steaks are soooo good.  I hadn’t had them in forever and he wanted to bring me a special treat.  Ok, so minor setback, but I kept at it.  Then one morning someone brought muffins to work and they were from E.A.T. – which, if you are from NYC, you know are soooo good.  So I had one of those.  Of course, you also saw the insane amount of chocolate J bought me for Valentine’s day.  That didn’t help either.   There are just too many things that are soooo good. 

I just couldn’t stick to the WW plan this time.  I was doing it by myself, with no support system and because it was tax season, I wasn’t even going to meetings.  It was next to impossible and I was totally discouraged.  I decided that I really needed to take a more drastic measure to get myself started.  My mom told me that she had decided to join a different program.  She had gained a few pounds and wanted to lose and she’d had success with NutriSystem in the past.  I decided that a support system would be great and so I joined along with her. 

Normally, I don’t think these kinds of programs work.  I mean, what happens when you stop eating their food and go back to a normal diet?  Aren’t you going to gain the weight back?  The answer is, yeah, probably…if I go back to eating the way I was before.  But I’m not going to do that.  I have a lot of weight to lose…about 80 pounds…and I don’t plan to use NutriSystem to lose it all.  I really just wanted an idiot-proof way to jump-start my weight loss and give me some motivation to keep going.  Eventually, I plan to switch over to WW.

I’ve been doing this for a few weeks and so far I’ve lost 5.8 pounds and a couple of inches.  I put on a pair of pants on Saturday and they went from being tight and uncomfortable to being almost a perfect fit.  Also, the new bra that I bought a month ago is really kind of loose…which is slightly upsetting because it was expensive, but I’m not complaining!  The food hasn’t been bad…there has only really been one thing so far that I didn’t like.  The program couldn’t be easier…I just grab a breakfast, lunch and some fruit in the morning to take to work and I order a salad to go with my lunch.  For dinner, I just heat up an entrée and make some veggies and for dessert I pick out of my bowl of goodies. 

The junk is less tempting because I know it’s not an option and I’m starting to get over the cravings.  I made cinnamon buns for J and they sat on the counter for three days without me touching them.  Last night, he was eating peanut butter cups and I didn’t even try to sneak one.  I’ve had Cadbury Cream Eggs in my house since Easter and J doesn’t like them so they are just sitting there.  Those are my favorite and even they have stopped calling to me.  Right now this program is totally doing the trick.  I’m avoiding all of these trigger foods successfully and I’m losing my craving for them. 

I’m not really feeling the loss in my clothes yet…probably because I’ve been wearing everything loose-fitting to hide the weight gain in the first place.  But I can obviously see the changes on the scale and in my measurements and that’s making me feel great.  I’m totally motivated to keep going.  I’ve taken a before picture and maybe at some point I’ll be brave enough to post some progress shots.  I make no promises!  It’s really not pretty.  But I will keep you posted on my progress.

Wish me luck…


  1. I need to jump start myself with that. I’ve been eating A LOT. And it’s BAD.

    You’re definitely making me think I need to change things around.

  2. It sounds like you have a really good plan. Good luck and I hope you continue to see results.

  3. GOOD LUCK and I am so proud of you! It took a lot of courage to even write this. I am very weird about talking about my weight for a lot of reasons.

    I think it sounds like a perfect jumpstart and remember to not rely too much on the scale, especially if you are exercising because often times it won’t reflect any changes since muscle weighs more than fat.

    I haven’t eaten a Cadbury egg in years and I don’t miss them one bit. :)

    *hugs* Keep us updated for sure!

  4. I am so proud of you for writing this, and for sticking to your program. I gained a lot of weight after my sister’s death, and my eating habits have totally gotten out of control. I need to lose weight, and I need to find a plan that works. I always seem to find excuses to put it off though. I have been thinking about trying weight watchers. I’m gonna check out their website, and hopefully make the commitment, soon.

  5. I so understand what you are talking about. I’m in the same place. I lost nearly 50 lbs with WW and have gained a lot of it back. This time it’s just not working for me like last time. It’s so hard to get excited and feel motivated when all your clothes are too small “all of a sudden” and you just feel nasty all the time. It effects every single aspect of life.

    I wish you sooo much luck! You can do this! I need to work along with you. I don’t know much about NutriSystem but I will look into it.

  6. The food thing (and obvi the margarita thing) is really hard for me. I just love really good food. I love anything drenched in cheese or with creamy sauce or chocolate. I don’t crave the fried stuff at all anymore. But it took me awhile to get to that point. Neal is a total health nut so I have to be careful about what I fix because he’ll complain about the total lack of nutrition in it. But what has helped is planning and then shopping for our meals on Sunday. If I know what we’re going to have for the week and commit to it, then I’m not making macaroni and melting Velveeta over it and calling it lunch. And the exercise thing helps. But I’ve seriously always been the heaviest instructor at any group fitness conference. I just love really good food. End of story. Good luck and I can’t wait to see how this progresses.

    And for the record, if you have a “busy season” like you do, I don’t think that is ever a good time to start something else difficult. If you wanted to eat Cadbury’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner….so be it. There is ALWAYS April 16th. 😉

Speak Your Mind