I used to be one of those people who had everything together. I remembered birthdays and anniversaries and sent cards that arrived on time. I got my Christmas shopping done in November. I kept my checkbook up to date and knew my checking balance at all times. I renewed things like my passport and car registration months before they expired. I got my nails done every week and never had a gray hair or visible roots. I had my shit together!
Then something happened – I have no idea what – but something. Because I am now a total mess. Last January, I missed my nephew’s birthday. I totally forgot about it. And I don’t mean that I forgot during the day and called him really late. I remembered three days later. Then I had to look into his little sad, six-year-old face while he asked me why I didn’t call him on his birthday. How you explain to a child that you are a flake? It gets worse – in August I called my brother three times on his birthday and had lengthy conversations with him – each time forgetting to wish him a happy birthday.
I don’t remember anything anymore. Not birthdays or anniversaries or to refill my birth control pills until the very last possible second. I don’t even want to tell you how bad my roots were last week when I finally got my hair colored or how bad my nails looked earlier today while I was being filmed unwrapping my future sister-in-law’s wedding dress.
The worst part is that my relationship with J is “stuck in the mud” – his words – and it’s largely because I am stuck in the mud. I have been slacking in every aspect of my life – including our relationship. My house is a mess – in every sense – and enough is enough. I cannot let my relationship go to hell just because I’m a disorganized mess.
So – New Year’s Resolution – get myself together ASAP. I’m going to organize my house, my office, my car, my computer and my life. I’m going to make lists and plans and actually stick to them. I’m going to be better and more efficient and I’m going to start enjoying myself again. And I’m going to take you guys on my journey with me. I’m hoping this blog will help me stay motivated to stick with this resolution – or at least shame me into sticking with it!
So welcome to my life.